Golf Ipsum

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Texas Wedge

Spoon Get your 5 wood Tiger Woods Act your age and not like a pro. While heckling your opponent, Better luck next time! You got the yips And lose your mind, Open clubface Plugged lie in the bunker Lose your putter, forced to go home. And shank it. Open stance Arnold Palmer Time to buy some new clubs Long irons Take a mulligan, Niblick Pushed to the right Chip and run Cleek Steady footwork Losing your ball in the rough, Dancing on the practise ground. Score a bogey Carrying your clubs Steady footwork You need more lessons! Reading the green.

Ben Hogan Reading the green, And swing. You need more lessons! Mashie Hit it as hard as you can Tearing up a scorecard Tearing up a scorecard Use your Lob Wedge Brassie Gary Player You got the yips Run down the fairway shouting And your caddie gets cross. Using your putter to plumb-bob, While heckling your opponent, Waggle your hips and swing Niblick.

Phil Mickelson Better luck next time! Arnold Palmer For getting banned from the course. Plugged lie in the bunker Score a bogey.

A gentle fade Cheating on the next hole Phil Mickelson Tee off A gentle fade Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Fried egg Thinking your at Sunningdale Get your 5 wood And shank it. Aiming for the groundsman Fried egg Brassie Begin the back nine holes, Aiming for the groundsman That's a big hook Condor Take a mulligan, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Better luck next time! Pitching Wedge Phoenix Top your tee shot, Get thrown off the course Pulled to the left Swing quickly, Condor.

And shank it. Dancing on the practise ground. Brassie Out of anger Short irons Roll around on the ground laughing, Better luck next time! Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Phil Mickelson.