Golf Ipsum

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You got the yips

And your caddie gets cross. 3-iron comes out, Condor Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Waggle your hips and swing Get your 5 wood Score a par Open clubface You got the yips Duck hook! Take a mulligan, Score a bogey Act your age and not like a pro. Tearing up a scorecard Taking a practise swing, Mashie While heckling your opponent, Look out a ball is coming straight for you! For packing in golf While drinking beer At the Clubhouse, Pull out the driver and.... Oops, your ball is in the bunker.

Arnold Palmer To distract your opponent For getting banned from the course. Aiming for the groundsman Tom Watson Score a double bogey Duck hook!

Out of frustration Tom Watson You skied it! Condor Pull out your 3-wood and.... Lose your putter, forced to go home. Out of frustration Pushed to the right You need more lessons! And shank it. Run down the fairway shouting You need more lessons! Mind where the divot lands! You got the yips To buy a drink for Score a par Arnold Palmer Pitch and run For packing in golf Walking over the putting green.

Making a lot of noise Pushed to the right Time to buy some new clubs Out of frustration Condor Lose your putter, forced to go home. Mind where the divot lands! And swing. Your ball hits the Captain, Weak grip Gary Player Open clubface Rub of the green Pull out the driver and.... Good rhythm Open clubface At St. Andrews, Jack Nicklaus.

Score an albatross Thinking your at Sunningdale Feeling happy now, That's a big hook Steady footwork Score an albatross Get your 5 wood Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Get thrown off the course Tiger Woods Score a par Fried egg Time to buy some new clubs Spoon For getting banned from the course. Good rhythm And shank it. Cleek Niblick Get thrown off the course Pushed to the right While heckling your opponent, Score a double bogey Roll around on the ground laughing.