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Golf Ipsum

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Taking a practise swing

Tee off At Augusta National Spoon Spoon Get your 5 wood Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Phoenix Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Win the Green Jacket Begin the front nine holes, Score a double bogey Score a par That's a big hook Tearing up a scorecard.

Jack Nicklaus While drinking beer Dancing on the practise ground. That's a gimme. Score an albatross Carrying your clubs Begin the front nine holes, Win the Green Jacket Pitching Wedge Pitching Wedge Brassie Phil Mickelson Pretend nothing just happened and smile. You skied it! That's a big slice Carrying your clubs Taking a practise swing, A gentle fade Tom Watson Weak grip Pitching Wedge Pitching Wedge And swing. Gary Player Start your backswing, take it slow.

Swing quickly, Waggle your hips and swing And getting annoyed Making a lot of noise Walking over the putting green. Thinking your at Sunningdale And swing. For getting banned from the course. At Augusta National Swear at the Captain and get banned. Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, "Get in the hole!" Good rhythm Brassie And good luck! Waggle your hips and swing Waggle your hips and swing The 19th Hole.

Run down the fairway shouting Arnold Palmer Top your tee shot, Taking a practise swing, Chip and run.

Begin the back nine holes, Making a lot of noise Ben Hogan For packing in golf Chip and run Tee off That's a floater. Score a double bogey You skied it! Texas Wedge Oops, your ball is in the bunker. To distract your opponent Pulled to the left Get thrown off the course Tom Watson Pitching Wedge 3-iron comes out, Mind where the divot lands! Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Mind where the divot lands! Struck by lightning Texas Wedge Tee off Niblick Swing quickly, Short irons.