Golf Ipsum
Pushed to the right
A gentle fade Rub of the green Using your putter to plumb-bob, Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Pushed to the right Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Rub of the green Tee off At St. Andrews, You deserve a mulligan. Score a double bogey Swear at the Captain and get banned. Using your putter to plumb-bob, Niblick Pulled to the left Good break! Shouting Fore as loud as you can.
To buy a drink for At the Clubhouse, Struck by lightning Get a new Sand Iron Roll around on the ground laughing, Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Lose your putter, forced to go home. Begin the back nine holes, Take a mulligan, Begin the front nine holes, Looking for a new angle of attack Walking over the putting green. Pitching Wedge At the Clubhouse, And snap your club in half. Better luck next time! Completely missed the ball, oops! At St. Andrews, Chip and run While drinking beer Begin the back nine holes.
Score an eagle Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Fried egg Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Aiming for the groundsman Arnold Palmer Tiger Woods Mind where the divot lands! Steady footwork A gentle fade Spoon Swear at the Captain and get banned.
Long irons Score a birdie Act your age and not like a pro. Score an eagle Open stance A scratch golfer, That's a big hook Mind where the divot lands! Take a mulligan, Using your putter to plumb-bob, Tiger Woods Score an eagle Use your Lob Wedge Mind where the divot lands! And good luck! Jigger Ben Hogan Weak grip Hit it as hard as you can "Get in the hole!" Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Open clubface Arnold Palmer At the Clubhouse, Chip in Start your backswing, take it slow. Score an eagle Ostrich Out of frustration.
Out of anger And good luck! Aiming for the groundsman Rub of the green Gary Player At the Clubhouse, Pushed to the right Fried egg Score an albatross Mashie Phil Mickelson For getting banned from the course. Chip and run And getting annoyed Brassie Splash shot Pulled to the left Chip and run Get thrown off the course Good rhythm Score a double bogey Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Get a new Sand Iron For packing in golf.