Golf Ipsum

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A gentle fade

Score an albatross Lose your putter, forced to go home. Hole in One! Weak grip That's a gimme. That's a gimme. And shank it. A gentle fade At the Clubhouse, Weak grip 3-iron comes out, Looking for a new angle of attack That's a gimme.

And swing. Jack Nicklaus And snap your club in half. To distract your opponent Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, A gentle fade Out of frustration Ostrich You got the yips Pulled to the left A gentle fade Tee off Good break! Open clubface Brassie Phil Mickelson Tee off Pitching Wedge Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Jack Nicklaus Swing quickly, Score a bogey Good break! For getting banned from the course. You got the yips Swear at the Captain and get banned.

Score an albatross You need more lessons! A scratch golfer, And shank it. "Get in the hole!" Pulled to the left Get your 5 wood A controlled draw For getting banned from the course. Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Score a bogey Mashie Hit it as hard as you can Aiming for the groundsman Chip in Pitch and run Top your tee shot, Fried egg.

Steady footwork And lose your mind, Tiger Woods At St. Andrews, Get your 5 wood Cheating on the next hole Pull out the driver and.... Pulled to the left Completely missed the ball, oops! You skied it! At Augusta National While heckling your opponent, Struck by lightning Open stance Time to buy some new clubs Cleek Looking for a new angle of attack Dancing on the practise ground. Score an eagle Win the Green Jacket You need more lessons! Chip and run At Augusta National Score an eagle Tee off Making a lot of noise Visit the golf range.

Better luck next time! Rub of the green Open stance Completely missed the ball, oops! Pull out the driver and.... At the Clubhouse, Using your putter to plumb-bob, Aiming for the groundsman Take a mulligan, Gary Player Pushed to the right Lose your putter, forced to go home. 3-iron comes out, Pitching Wedge Texas Wedge Use your Lob Wedge Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker.