Golf Ipsum

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Phil Mickelson

Ostrich At St. Andrews, Ostrich Weak grip Open clubface Roll around on the ground laughing, Jack Nicklaus Aiming for the groundsman Run down the fairway shouting Cleek Taking a practise swing, Start your backswing, take it slow. Score a par For getting banned from the course. Thinking your at Sunningdale Using your putter to plumb-bob, Arnold Palmer For getting banned from the course. Thinking your at Sunningdale Thinking your at Sunningdale Score a double bogey Tee off Score an eagle.

Pulled to the left Out of frustration Swing quickly, Taking a practise swing, Phil Mickelson And shank it. Chip in At St. Andrews, Score an albatross Looking for a new angle of attack Tom Watson.

3-iron comes out, Tom Watson Score a double bogey Pitch and run Long irons A gentle fade Arnold Palmer Pitch and run Take a mulligan, Run down the fairway shouting Dancing on the practise ground. Short irons Phoenix Jack Nicklaus Start your backswing, take it slow. That's a floater. That's a big slice Walking over the putting green. Phoenix Making a lot of noise Top your tee shot.

Tearing up a scorecard Top your tee shot, Making a lot of noise Phil Mickelson Score a double bogey That's a floater. You skied it! Fried egg Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Cleek Start your backswing, take it slow. Score a par Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, You deserve a mulligan. To distract your opponent Mashie Completely missed the ball, oops! Plugged lie in the bunker And good luck! Out of frustration Score a bogey Cleek Weak grip Ben Hogan.

For packing in golf Waggle your hips and swing Top your tee shot, Take a mulligan, Pitching Wedge That's a floater. Good break! Pitching Wedge Take a mulligan, Fried egg Weak grip Begin the front nine holes, Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Chip in And swing. Reading the green, Mashie Open clubface You deserve a mulligan. Fluffy lie Oops, your ball is in the bunker. And good luck! Good break! Steady footwork.