Golf Ipsum

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A scratch golfer

Top your tee shot, Swear at the Captain and get banned. At the Clubhouse, For getting banned from the course. Walking over the putting green. Chip and run A gentle fade Tom Watson Hit it as hard as you can And good luck! Short irons Begin the back nine holes, 3-iron comes out, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Good rhythm Out of anger Plugged lie in the bunker Aiming for the groundsman Cleek Tearing up a scorecard Ben Hogan.

Get your 5 wood Swing quickly, And lose your mind, Short irons That's a floater. Get thrown off the course Tom Watson Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Mind where the divot lands! At the Clubhouse, You deserve a mulligan. Jack Nicklaus Act your age and not like a pro. A scratch golfer, Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Swing quickly, Spoon Pretend nothing just happened and smile.

Pull out the driver and.... Phil Mickelson Phoenix And getting annoyed And snap your club in half.

Run down the fairway shouting Waggle your hips and swing Fluffy lie Good rhythm Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Swing quickly, Spoon Pretend nothing just happened and smile. That's a gimme. Tom Watson You got the yips Walking over the putting green. Rub of the green Mashie Making a lot of noise Jack Nicklaus While drinking beer Score a birdie.

You got the yips Out of anger Tom Watson Pitch and run Walking over the putting green. You deserve a mulligan. Reading the green, While heckling your opponent, Steady footwork Reading the green, Visit the golf range, Tearing up a scorecard And getting annoyed That's a big slice Fried egg.