Golf Ipsum

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Making a lot of noise

Open stance Time to buy some new clubs Brassie You need more lessons! Swear at the Captain and get banned. Pull out your 3-wood and.... While heckling your opponent, You got the yips Use your Lob Wedge Texas Wedge And your caddie gets cross. Fluffy lie Cheating on the next hole.

Feeling happy now, Thinking your at Sunningdale Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Mashie Good rhythm Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, To distract your opponent To distract your opponent Pull out the driver and.... Phil Mickelson Open clubface Walking over the putting green. Using your putter to plumb-bob, "Get in the hole!".

Better luck next time! That's a big hook Begin the front nine holes, At St. Andrews, Oops, your ball is in the bunker.

Phil Mickelson Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Gary Player Phoenix Struck by lightning Score an albatross Better luck next time! Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Ostrich Roll around on the ground laughing, Using your putter to plumb-bob, Arnold Palmer That's a big hook Chip and run Phoenix A scratch golfer, And lose your mind.

Mind where the divot lands! Weak grip Thinking your at Sunningdale Pushed to the right Good break! Condor You got the yips Jack Nicklaus That's a big slice Mind where the divot lands! Hit it as hard as you can 3-iron comes out.