Golf Ipsum

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Act your age and not like a pro

That's a gimme. That's a big hook You skied it! Begin the front nine holes, Plugged lie in the bunker Tom Watson Pitch and run Taking a practise swing, Weak grip Carrying your clubs Spoon Rub of the green Condor 3-iron comes out, A scratch golfer, Get thrown off the course Steady footwork Gary Player Good break! You got the yips You deserve a mulligan. Tom Watson.

Fried egg Duck hook! For getting banned from the course. Tearing up a scorecard Duck hook! Score a birdie Act your age and not like a pro. Fried egg That's a floater. Duck hook! Get a new Sand Iron Roll around on the ground laughing, Taking a practise swing, Open stance And getting annoyed Better luck next time! And snap your club in half. Walking over the putting green.

Score an eagle Plugged lie in the bunker Carrying your clubs Pull out the driver and.... At St. Andrews, For packing in golf And getting annoyed You skied it! Struck by lightning You skied it! Tee off Better luck next time! Score a birdie.

Visit the golf range, Score a birdie Condor Using your putter to plumb-bob, For getting banned from the course. Get your 5 wood.

Spoon Time to buy some new clubs Mind where the divot lands! Texas Wedge Chip in Mashie Pushed to the right Rub of the green Pitch and run Gary Player At the Clubhouse, That's a big hook Better luck next time! Start your backswing, take it slow. Phoenix Making a lot of noise.