Golf Ipsum

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Long irons

For getting banned from the course. Pitching Wedge Swear at the Captain and get banned. Short irons That's a gimme. Score a bogey Begin the front nine holes, Good rhythm While drinking beer.

And your caddie gets cross. That's a floater. While drinking beer Phil Mickelson The 19th Hole. Good rhythm Completely missed the ball, oops! Steady footwork Tee off Score a double bogey Cleek Tiger Woods.

Weak grip Take a mulligan, Score a birdie Open clubface Run down the fairway shouting Thinking your at Sunningdale Score a double bogey While drinking beer "Get in the hole!" That's a big hook At the Clubhouse, Score an eagle Tom Watson Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Long irons Taking a practise swing, And your caddie gets cross. Get your 5 wood.

Score a birdie Taking a practise swing, Jigger Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Pulled to the left A controlled draw Shouting Fore as loud as you can. That's a big hook That's a big hook Ostrich Good rhythm Using your putter to plumb-bob, Use your Lob Wedge Pitching Wedge Get your 5 wood Swing quickly, Niblick Ostrich Take a mulligan, To buy a drink for Jack Nicklaus Steady footwork Walking over the putting green. Long irons Take a mulligan.

Waggle your hips and swing Chip and run Score a double bogey Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Take a mulligan, And getting annoyed You got the yips That's a floater. Score a birdie.