Golf Ipsum

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Thinking your at Sunningdale

Open stance Open clubface Top your tee shot, Get your 5 wood Gary Player Swear at the Captain and get banned. Score an eagle Open clubface Chip in Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Niblick Begin the back nine holes, And getting annoyed Cleek Duck hook! Tiger Woods That's a gimme. Thinking your at Sunningdale.

Using your putter to plumb-bob, And snap your club in half. Jigger Dancing on the practise ground. Struck by lightning Chip and run Act your age and not like a pro. Get your 5 wood Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Score an eagle.

Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Get your 5 wood And lose your mind, Score an eagle Texas Wedge Tee off Pitch and run A scratch golfer, Better luck next time! Out of anger At St. Andrews, Condor Good rhythm While drinking beer.

Score an albatross Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Pitch and run Pull out the driver and.... Jigger Act your age and not like a pro. Score an eagle Thinking your at Sunningdale Open clubface Brassie Struck by lightning The 19th Hole. At the Clubhouse, Out of anger Time to buy some new clubs "Get in the hole!" To buy a drink for You deserve a mulligan. Duck hook! Phil Mickelson Thinking your at Sunningdale Pushed to the right.

Act your age and not like a pro. Taking a practise swing, Carrying your clubs Begin the front nine holes, Cheating on the next hole Carrying your clubs Rub of the green Brassie Spoon Chip in At the Clubhouse, Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Use your Lob Wedge Start your backswing, take it slow. You deserve a mulligan. Carrying your clubs Spoon Arnold Palmer Phoenix Ostrich That's a big slice For getting banned from the course. Niblick Completely missed the ball, oops!