Golf Ipsum
The 19th Hole
You need more lessons! And getting annoyed Steady footwork Rub of the green And lose your mind, And good luck! That's a big hook Ostrich.
Aiming for the groundsman Fried egg A gentle fade Better luck next time! Open clubface Feeling happy now, And good luck! Hole in One! Ben Hogan Pitching Wedge Get a new Sand Iron That's a floater. And swing. At St. Andrews, Reading the green, For getting banned from the course. A controlled draw Act your age and not like a pro. Phoenix Phil Mickelson Dancing on the practise ground. Fluffy lie Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, 3-iron comes out, Dancing on the practise ground. Using your putter to plumb-bob, Reading the green, That's a floater. Lose your putter, forced to go home.
Oops, your ball is in the bunker. 3-iron comes out, Gary Player "Get in the hole!" Fried egg Gary Player You got the yips Ostrich Losing your ball in the rough, You deserve a mulligan. Gary Player The 19th Hole. Visit the golf range, That's a big hook For getting banned from the course. Rub of the green That's a gimme. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Hit it as hard as you can Score a bogey Texas Wedge Pulled to the left That's a gimme. Condor Rub of the green Taking a practise swing.
Hole in One! To distract your opponent Rub of the green Pull out the driver and.... You deserve a mulligan. Spoon Win the Green Jacket Top your tee shot, Jigger Roll around on the ground laughing, Carrying your clubs While heckling your opponent, Pull out your 3-wood and.... Score a par You deserve a mulligan. Chip and run.
Rub of the green For getting banned from the course. That's a floater. Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, And snap your club in half. Use your Lob Wedge Open stance Start your backswing, take it slow. Waggle your hips and swing Score a par Pull out the driver and.... Ostrich Pull out the driver and.... Phil Mickelson Pitching Wedge A controlled draw Hole in One! And swing. Jigger You skied it! Walking over the putting green. You got the yips.