Golf Ipsum

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At Augusta National

Fried egg Get a new Sand Iron Splash shot Score a birdie Time to buy some new clubs Duck hook! 3-iron comes out, 3-iron comes out, Cheating on the next hole Shouting Fore as loud as you can. The 19th Hole. For getting banned from the course. Oops, your ball is in the bunker. And good luck! Get your 5 wood Win the Green Jacket Roll around on the ground laughing, You skied it! And good luck! That's a big hook Hit it as hard as you can Act your age and not like a pro. While drinking beer And your caddie gets cross.

Win the Green Jacket Use your Lob Wedge Arnold Palmer Mashie Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Completely missed the ball, oops! Aiming for the groundsman Good break! That's a big slice Out of frustration A gentle fade While drinking beer Out of frustration Fluffy lie At St. Andrews, Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Visit the golf range, Time to buy some new clubs Reading the green, Waggle your hips and swing For getting banned from the course. To distract your opponent Pull out the driver and.... Condor Visit the golf range.

Time to buy some new clubs Weak grip Duck hook! Carrying your clubs 3-iron comes out, That's a big slice.

While drinking beer Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Long irons Condor Start your backswing, take it slow. Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Looking for a new angle of attack Hit it as hard as you can Your ball hits the Captain, Tiger Woods At St. Andrews, Score a birdie Take a mulligan, Condor Fried egg Using your putter to plumb-bob, Tearing up a scorecard Struck by lightning Jigger You need more lessons! Fried egg And lose your mind, Mind where the divot lands! Out of anger.

Pitch and run Condor Get thrown off the course Taking a practise swing, And good luck! Tiger Woods To buy a drink for Open clubface At St. Andrews, Score a bogey Splash shot Open clubface Plugged lie in the bunker And swing. Take a mulligan, Score a bogey.