Golf Ipsum

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That's a gimme

Get a new Sand Iron Score a bogey To buy a drink for For packing in golf Spoon Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Tee off Walking over the putting green. Tiger Woods You got the yips That's a floater. Open stance Struck by lightning Fried egg The 19th Hole. Good break! Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Your ball hits the Captain, You need more lessons! Top your tee shot, You got the yips Arnold Palmer Roll around on the ground laughing, A controlled draw You need more lessons!

Out of frustration Making a lot of noise Start your backswing, take it slow. Gary Player Niblick At St. Andrews, "Get in the hole!" Weak grip Get thrown off the course Short irons.

Losing your ball in the rough, Duck hook! Begin the front nine holes, Taking a practise swing, Cleek Chip in Jigger Begin the front nine holes, Get a new Sand Iron Good break! Losing your ball in the rough, Run down the fairway shouting Pitching Wedge To distract your opponent Pushed to the right Rub of the green That's a floater.

That's a big slice To distract your opponent And good luck! Pull out the driver and.... Dancing on the practise ground. Score a double bogey Out of anger That's a big hook Rub of the green Chip and run And snap your club in half. Taking a practise swing, Waggle your hips and swing Better luck next time! Taking a practise swing, Begin the front nine holes, Tee off Swear at the Captain and get banned. Condor Use your Lob Wedge Mashie Pitch and run Carrying your clubs.

Ben Hogan Run down the fairway shouting Phil Mickelson At the Clubhouse, Phil Mickelson Tiger Woods Gary Player Carrying your clubs Rub of the green Better luck next time! Good break! Open stance Visit the golf range.