Golf Ipsum

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Gary Player

And lose your mind, Cleek Get a new Sand Iron Get thrown off the course Using your putter to plumb-bob, Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Losing your ball in the rough, Score an albatross That's a big slice Hit it as hard as you can Pull out your 3-wood and.... Run down the fairway shouting Condor Score a birdie Feeling happy now, Better luck next time! Win the Green Jacket Score a par Making a lot of noise Tearing up a scorecard.

Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, You skied it! Phoenix Better luck next time! Swing quickly, Struck by lightning Good rhythm And getting annoyed Score a birdie And your caddie gets cross. Completely missed the ball, oops! And shank it. Aiming for the groundsman Cheating on the next hole For packing in golf Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Lose your putter, forced to go home. Out of anger Get your 5 wood While heckling your opponent, Take a mulligan, 3-iron comes out, Fried egg Taking a practise swing, That's a big hook Long irons Plugged lie in the bunker.

Pulled to the left Short irons Top your tee shot, Get thrown off the course "Get in the hole!" Out of anger Hit it as hard as you can You skied it! Act your age and not like a pro. Fried egg Pitch and run Chip in Better luck next time! Take a mulligan, That's a floater. Texas Wedge Struck by lightning Reading the green, Rub of the green The 19th Hole. Tearing up a scorecard.

You deserve a mulligan. Cheating on the next hole Score a par Ostrich Pushed to the right Looking for a new angle of attack Splash shot And lose your mind, Arnold Palmer Score a bogey That's a floater. For packing in golf And shank it. "Get in the hole!" Score a bogey Ben Hogan Niblick Score a bogey And good luck! Mashie Use your Lob Wedge Hit it as hard as you can Your ball hits the Captain.

Tiger Woods Better luck next time! Good break! Shouting Fore as loud as you can. At the Clubhouse, At the Clubhouse, Score a par Score an albatross The 19th Hole. Fried egg Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Splash shot "Get in the hole!" Taking a practise swing, Run down the fairway shouting Ostrich To distract your opponent Act your age and not like a pro. Fluffy lie Gary Player Texas Wedge Tearing up a scorecard Struck by lightning Spoon Tee off Visit the golf range, Reading the green.