Golf Ipsum

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Walking over the putting green

A scratch golfer, Time to buy some new clubs Begin the front nine holes, Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Arnold Palmer Swing quickly, Phil Mickelson Begin the front nine holes, Looking for a new angle of attack Hole in One! Phil Mickelson Begin the back nine holes.

You deserve a mulligan. Tearing up a scorecard Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Swing quickly, Tiger Woods Pulled to the left Losing your ball in the rough, "Get in the hole!" While heckling your opponent, Jigger Niblick Waggle your hips and swing Use your Lob Wedge You deserve a mulligan. Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker.

And snap your club in half. That's a big slice Score an albatross That's a big hook Pull out the driver and.... Open clubface Hit it as hard as you can Phoenix Get your 5 wood Roll around on the ground laughing, Out of frustration While drinking beer Weak grip The 19th Hole. Pulled to the left Score a double bogey Swear at the Captain and get banned. Phoenix.

That's a gimme. And shank it. Tearing up a scorecard Pitching Wedge At Augusta National Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, At St. Andrews, Pulled to the left Look out a ball is coming straight for you! For getting banned from the course. "Get in the hole!" Act your age and not like a pro. Begin the front nine holes, Fried egg Hit it as hard as you can Get your 5 wood Run down the fairway shouting Your ball hits the Captain, Cheating on the next hole Ostrich Fried egg Win the Green Jacket While drinking beer Tee off Weak grip Visit the golf range, Rub of the green.

Tee off Score a par Pull out the driver and.... Niblick Niblick Jigger Get thrown off the course Get your 5 wood Rub of the green That's a big slice Score a bogey A scratch golfer, Tearing up a scorecard Weak grip Top your tee shot, You skied it! Duck hook!