Golf Ipsum

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Get your 5 wood

Your ball hits the Captain, And your caddie gets cross. Gary Player Completely missed the ball, oops! You got the yips And getting annoyed And your caddie gets cross. And snap your club in half. You deserve a mulligan. And shank it. Aiming for the groundsman.

Tee off Lose your putter, forced to go home. Get your 5 wood At St. Andrews, Hole in One! Out of frustration Begin the back nine holes, Jigger Win the Green Jacket Waggle your hips and swing Jack Nicklaus Swing quickly, Tom Watson Use your Lob Wedge.

Better luck next time! Tom Watson Hit it as hard as you can Cheating on the next hole While drinking beer Get your 5 wood Get your 5 wood Aiming for the groundsman Ben Hogan Cleek Making a lot of noise Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Pulled to the left Good break! Good rhythm You deserve a mulligan. Splash shot Aiming for the groundsman Visit the golf range, Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Score a double bogey You got the yips Score a birdie The 19th Hole. Walking over the putting green. Score an albatross That's a gimme. Get your 5 wood Time to buy some new clubs.

You got the yips While drinking beer Pitching Wedge Plugged lie in the bunker Texas Wedge Pushed to the right And your caddie gets cross. Pull out your 3-wood and.... Dancing on the practise ground. Using your putter to plumb-bob, Pitching Wedge Plugged lie in the bunker For getting banned from the course. Phoenix Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Out of frustration You deserve a mulligan. Take a mulligan, Pitching Wedge.

Get your 5 wood Start your backswing, take it slow. And snap your club in half. At the Clubhouse, Score an albatross Taking a practise swing, Score a par.