Golf Ipsum

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Pull out your 3-wood and...

Ben Hogan To buy a drink for And your caddie gets cross. Hit it as hard as you can At the Clubhouse, Chip in Brassie Hole in One! Use your Lob Wedge And your caddie gets cross. Open stance Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Score a birdie You deserve a mulligan. A gentle fade Out of anger Struck by lightning Pitch and run Weak grip While heckling your opponent, Pushed to the right Tearing up a scorecard.

Get your 5 wood Texas Wedge Using your putter to plumb-bob, The 19th Hole. Aiming for the groundsman Take a mulligan, Win the Green Jacket Take a mulligan, Mind where the divot lands! And lose your mind, Open stance Ben Hogan The 19th Hole. Ostrich Take a mulligan, Phoenix Splash shot Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Hit it as hard as you can Ostrich Pretend nothing just happened and smile. The 19th Hole. Oops, your ball is in the bunker. You skied it! Roll around on the ground laughing, While heckling your opponent.

Your ball hits the Captain, A controlled draw Tiger Woods Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Mashie Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Swing quickly, Ben Hogan Use your Lob Wedge That's a big slice Score an albatross Rub of the green Chip and run Taking a practise swing, Mind where the divot lands! While heckling your opponent, That's a big hook And getting annoyed At Augusta National.

That's a floater. Jigger Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Tee off Phil Mickelson Tee off Score an albatross Condor Rub of the green Losing your ball in the rough, Cheating on the next hole Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Using your putter to plumb-bob, Score a bogey A gentle fade Look out a ball is coming straight for you!

Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Cheating on the next hole Pretend nothing just happened and smile. You need more lessons! Get thrown off the course Cheating on the next hole And shank it. Mashie Mashie 3-iron comes out.