Golf Ipsum

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Aiming for the groundsman

Act your age and not like a pro. Pull out your 3-wood and.... For getting banned from the course. Completely missed the ball, oops! Mashie For packing in golf Score an eagle Your ball hits the Captain, "Get in the hole!" Texas Wedge Feeling happy now, That's a big hook Carrying your clubs Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Steady footwork Walking over the putting green. Score a bogey Phoenix Using your putter to plumb-bob, Walking over the putting green. And snap your club in half. You deserve a mulligan.

For packing in golf Aiming for the groundsman Hole in One! Looking for a new angle of attack Weak grip Thinking your at Sunningdale For packing in golf Get thrown off the course Mashie While heckling your opponent, Cleek Chip in Out of anger Reading the green, Pitching Wedge Jack Nicklaus "Get in the hole!" Score a birdie Long irons Score an albatross Mashie Get your 5 wood And snap your club in half.

Pulled to the left Arnold Palmer Reading the green, Begin the back nine holes, Steady footwork Visit the golf range, Struck by lightning Open stance Making a lot of noise Arnold Palmer Condor A controlled draw Score a birdie Completely missed the ball, oops! Oops, your ball is in the bunker.

That's a gimme. Better luck next time! Duck hook! You skied it! Pull out your 3-wood and.... At Augusta National Mashie Weak grip Struck by lightning Start your backswing, take it slow. You need more lessons! And shank it. Open clubface Tiger Woods Hole in One! That's a big hook Swear at the Captain and get banned. You deserve a mulligan. And lose your mind.

And good luck! Pitching Wedge Tiger Woods And your caddie gets cross. Score a birdie Score a par Ostrich Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Tearing up a scorecard Score an eagle Pull out the driver and.... And swing. Good rhythm Use your Lob Wedge Visit the golf range, Jack Nicklaus.