Golf Ipsum

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At Augusta National

Win the Green Jacket Spoon Begin the back nine holes, You need more lessons! Jigger Score a birdie At St. Andrews, Time to buy some new clubs Cleek Tearing up a scorecard Dancing on the practise ground. Use your Lob Wedge Looking for a new angle of attack Carrying your clubs Pushed to the right Ben Hogan.

Texas Wedge Cleek Looking for a new angle of attack Better luck next time! To buy a drink for Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, And your caddie gets cross. Begin the back nine holes, Chip and run.

Short irons Get a new Sand Iron Long irons Chip in Good break! And good luck! And getting annoyed That's a floater. Time to buy some new clubs Top your tee shot, Cheating on the next hole The 19th Hole.

Begin the back nine holes, Out of anger At the Clubhouse, While drinking beer Begin the back nine holes, Pulled to the left Using your putter to plumb-bob, Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Get a new Sand Iron For packing in golf Open stance Looking for a new angle of attack You got the yips And lose your mind, Hit it as hard as you can Rub of the green Tee off.

Making a lot of noise Struck by lightning Begin the back nine holes, Take a mulligan, That's a big hook Score a double bogey Tee off Out of anger And shank it. Completely missed the ball, oops! And shank it. Waggle your hips and swing Score a double bogey While heckling your opponent, Pull out your 3-wood and.... Gary Player For getting banned from the course. Roll around on the ground laughing, To buy a drink for Open stance To buy a drink for Chip and run.