Golf Ipsum

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Ostrich Use your Lob Wedge The 19th Hole. Plugged lie in the bunker Duck hook! Long irons Swing quickly, Begin the front nine holes, Score a par Swear at the Captain and get banned. A gentle fade Walking over the putting green. Short irons Out of anger Score a bogey Niblick Feeling happy now, Ben Hogan Ostrich Condor Score a birdie Swing quickly, Win the Green Jacket Condor Your ball hits the Captain, Tee off.

You need more lessons! Win the Green Jacket Open stance Tiger Woods Mashie Pulled to the left Plugged lie in the bunker Act your age and not like a pro. Ben Hogan Carrying your clubs At the Clubhouse, At Augusta National Out of frustration Ben Hogan Making a lot of noise That's a big slice To buy a drink for.

Gary Player Score a birdie Time to buy some new clubs Score a bogey Dancing on the practise ground. Swing quickly, Your ball hits the Captain, Score a par Mind where the divot lands! Top your tee shot.

Pulled to the left Dancing on the practise ground. Completely missed the ball, oops! Jigger That's a big hook Top your tee shot.

And swing. Rub of the green While heckling your opponent, Weak grip Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, And your caddie gets cross. You got the yips Chip and run Walking over the putting green. And getting annoyed Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Begin the front nine holes, Duck hook! And getting annoyed Pull out your 3-wood and.... Jigger Phoenix Score an albatross Chip and run Using your putter to plumb-bob, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Take a mulligan, Mashie Making a lot of noise Splash shot Open clubface.