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Golf Ipsum

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Lose your putter, forced to go home

Hit it as hard as you can Mind where the divot lands! Run down the fairway shouting While heckling your opponent, A gentle fade For getting banned from the course. Get thrown off the course To distract your opponent Run down the fairway shouting Get a new Sand Iron At Augusta National Pitching Wedge Better luck next time!

Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Time to buy some new clubs To buy a drink for Win the Green Jacket Time to buy some new clubs While heckling your opponent, And snap your club in half. At the Clubhouse, Mind where the divot lands! Pretend nothing just happened and smile. While drinking beer.

At St. Andrews, Dancing on the practise ground. Use your Lob Wedge Waggle your hips and swing While heckling your opponent, Ben Hogan Pull out your 3-wood and.... Score an albatross Arnold Palmer Pull out your 3-wood and.... Open stance A scratch golfer, And lose your mind, A controlled draw At the Clubhouse.

Condor Score an eagle Aiming for the groundsman Cheating on the next hole Start your backswing, take it slow. A controlled draw Fluffy lie Out of frustration Jack Nicklaus 3-iron comes out, Begin the front nine holes, Phoenix Jack Nicklaus Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Use your Lob Wedge Open clubface Chip in Completely missed the ball, oops! Walking over the putting green. And shank it. Pushed to the right Time to buy some new clubs Out of anger That's a big slice Time to buy some new clubs Look out a ball is coming straight for you!

Ben Hogan Arnold Palmer Get a new Sand Iron That's a big slice Your ball hits the Captain, Texas Wedge Plugged lie in the bunker Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Pull out your 3-wood and.... At St. Andrews, Act your age and not like a pro. Thinking your at Sunningdale Spoon Completely missed the ball, oops! Score a bogey To buy a drink for Act your age and not like a pro. Visit the golf range, Dancing on the practise ground. Your ball hits the Captain, Cheating on the next hole.