Golf Ipsum

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And your caddie gets cross

Hit it as hard as you can Splash shot Pitch and run You need more lessons! Score an albatross And lose your mind, Use your Lob Wedge And lose your mind, Duck hook! Long irons That's a big slice Hole in One! Open clubface Jack Nicklaus Struck by lightning Completely missed the ball, oops! Run down the fairway shouting Score a par And snap your club in half.

Good rhythm Ben Hogan Pushed to the right And swing. Out of anger Ben Hogan Duck hook! For getting banned from the course. Open clubface For packing in golf That's a big hook Start your backswing, take it slow. And swing. Better luck next time! Looking for a new angle of attack Completely missed the ball, oops! Hit it as hard as you can Short irons.

Using your putter to plumb-bob, A gentle fade Score an eagle Short irons You skied it! Take a mulligan, Thinking your at Sunningdale Cleek Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Pulled to the left Pulled to the left That's a big hook Completely missed the ball, oops! At Augusta National Struck by lightning Mashie Act your age and not like a pro. Tiger Woods Run down the fairway shouting Open clubface Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Short irons Niblick Score an eagle.

Score a bogey You skied it! Phil Mickelson Lose your putter, forced to go home. Chip and run Steady footwork You skied it! Brassie And swing. Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Out of frustration Fluffy lie While heckling your opponent, A gentle fade You deserve a mulligan. And lose your mind, Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Ben Hogan And shank it. Walking over the putting green. Using your putter to plumb-bob.

That's a big hook To distract your opponent Condor Dancing on the practise ground. Begin the back nine holes, Feeling happy now.