Golf Ipsum

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Open stance

Looking for a new angle of attack Your ball hits the Captain, You skied it! Duck hook! Plugged lie in the bunker And snap your club in half. Tom Watson "Get in the hole!" You deserve a mulligan. Pitching Wedge Condor Open clubface Jack Nicklaus Phoenix Start your backswing, take it slow. Ostrich Get a new Sand Iron Pull out your 3-wood and.... And good luck! At Augusta National.

Taking a practise swing, Gary Player Jigger To buy a drink for Pull out your 3-wood and.... Reading the green, Dancing on the practise ground. For getting banned from the course. Ostrich And shank it. While heckling your opponent, Top your tee shot, Reading the green, And lose your mind, Reading the green, Gary Player Cheating on the next hole Pushed to the right For packing in golf.

Waggle your hips and swing Start your backswing, take it slow. And good luck! That's a floater. Condor Score a birdie Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Hole in One! Taking a practise swing, Fried egg Better luck next time! Run down the fairway shouting Pitching Wedge "Get in the hole!" Cleek The 19th Hole. Win the Green Jacket Walking over the putting green. Ostrich Better luck next time! Cleek Brassie Using your putter to plumb-bob, Score an eagle 3-iron comes out, Oops, your ball is in the bunker.

Pitch and run Score a bogey Score a par A gentle fade Ben Hogan Better luck next time! Feeling happy now, Making a lot of noise Score a double bogey A gentle fade Roll around on the ground laughing, Chip in Tom Watson Rub of the green Get thrown off the course For packing in golf Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Ostrich That's a gimme. Hit it as hard as you can Weak grip Oops, your ball is in the bunker. While heckling your opponent.

And snap your club in half. Plugged lie in the bunker Score a double bogey Score a bogey And getting annoyed Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Fried egg For packing in golf Swear at the Captain and get banned. Ostrich Texas Wedge Phil Mickelson A gentle fade Losing your ball in the rough, Pushed to the right Long irons Condor Visit the golf range, Chip in Splash shot.