Golf Ipsum

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And your caddie gets cross

Texas Wedge Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Score a birdie Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Chip and run Roll around on the ground laughing, Get your 5 wood And good luck! At St. Andrews, While heckling your opponent, Pull out the driver and.... For packing in golf A controlled draw Cleek.

A controlled draw Begin the front nine holes, And lose your mind, Your ball hits the Captain, That's a floater. Tearing up a scorecard Losing your ball in the rough, Cleek Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste.

Losing your ball in the rough, Lose your putter, forced to go home. Fried egg That's a floater. And good luck! Win the Green Jacket Weak grip Struck by lightning Aiming for the groundsman To distract your opponent To distract your opponent And your caddie gets cross. And snap your club in half. Roll around on the ground laughing, Get a new Sand Iron Roll around on the ground laughing, Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Better luck next time! Swear at the Captain and get banned. Struck by lightning.

Get thrown off the course Score an eagle Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Win the Green Jacket Tom Watson Waggle your hips and swing Tearing up a scorecard Mashie Pushed to the right That's a big slice Pull out the driver and.... Waggle your hips and swing Looking for a new angle of attack Texas Wedge And swing. Score a birdie Gary Player Open clubface That's a gimme. A gentle fade Get your 5 wood Win the Green Jacket Get thrown off the course Lose your putter, forced to go home.

That's a big hook Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Cleek Take a mulligan, Score an albatross Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Tom Watson Act your age and not like a pro. Get a new Sand Iron Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Out of frustration Tee off Completely missed the ball, oops!