Golf Ipsum

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Win the Green Jacket

Score an albatross Get thrown off the course Roll around on the ground laughing, Spoon Pushed to the right Long irons Cleek Score an eagle.

Pull out your 3-wood and.... Arnold Palmer Carrying your clubs Fluffy lie Duck hook! And your caddie gets cross.

Rub of the green Pulled to the left A controlled draw Roll around on the ground laughing, Struck by lightning That's a big slice The 19th Hole. At St. Andrews, Pull out your 3-wood and.... And getting annoyed A scratch golfer, Gary Player Spoon Losing your ball in the rough, Get your 5 wood Win the Green Jacket Begin the back nine holes, Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Score a par Out of frustration Mashie Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, And good luck! Score an albatross You need more lessons! Pulled to the left Reading the green, And shank it.

Pull out your 3-wood and.... Lose your putter, forced to go home. Better luck next time! Pushed to the right Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Take a mulligan, Phoenix Tee off And shank it. That's a big hook That's a gimme. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Short irons That's a big slice Carrying your clubs Condor Tearing up a scorecard Texas Wedge Swing quickly, Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Better luck next time! Pitching Wedge Short irons Long irons Long irons That's a big hook Cleek Pull out your 3-wood and.... At Augusta National.

A controlled draw You skied it! Win the Green Jacket Steady footwork Win the Green Jacket Ben Hogan You need more lessons! Visit the golf range, Start your backswing, take it slow.