Golf Ipsum

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At the Clubhouse

Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Pitch and run Visit the golf range, You deserve a mulligan. Cleek Looking for a new angle of attack Pull out your 3-wood and.... And good luck! Out of frustration.

Act your age and not like a pro. Long irons Run down the fairway shouting While drinking beer Pitching Wedge Losing your ball in the rough, Good break! Phil Mickelson Mind where the divot lands! Weak grip Tearing up a scorecard You skied it! A gentle fade Thinking your at Sunningdale Weak grip Thinking your at Sunningdale Out of frustration Score a birdie Tom Watson.

Get a new Sand Iron A scratch golfer, Steady footwork Tiger Woods While heckling your opponent, Pull out the driver and.... Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Thinking your at Sunningdale.

You need more lessons! Score an albatross Score a double bogey Completely missed the ball, oops! To buy a drink for Pitch and run Score a bogey Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Feeling happy now, While heckling your opponent, Get thrown off the course A scratch golfer, Mashie Jigger Spoon Start your backswing, take it slow. And lose your mind, Run down the fairway shouting Jack Nicklaus Swing quickly, While drinking beer.

Using your putter to plumb-bob, Reading the green, While heckling your opponent, Arnold Palmer Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Duck hook! And lose your mind, That's a gimme. Out of anger Score a double bogey Fried egg Begin the front nine holes, Completely missed the ball, oops! Top your tee shot, Pull out the driver and.... Making a lot of noise Brassie Splash shot And getting annoyed You got the yips Time to buy some new clubs At the Clubhouse, And your caddie gets cross. You deserve a mulligan. And lose your mind, You got the yips.