Golf Ipsum

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Phoenix

Phil Mickelson Chip in And lose your mind, To buy a drink for Long irons Splash shot Act your age and not like a pro. Weak grip Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Jigger Begin the front nine holes, Begin the back nine holes, "Get in the hole!" Spoon Long irons Rub of the green Begin the front nine holes, Tearing up a scorecard Feeling happy now, Pitch and run And your caddie gets cross. And your caddie gets cross. And good luck! For getting banned from the course. Use your Lob Wedge Struck by lightning Losing your ball in the rough.

Ostrich Splash shot Good break! Reading the green, Good break! Mashie While drinking beer Duck hook! Struck by lightning.

Begin the back nine holes, Tee off Condor Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Pitch and run Swear at the Captain and get banned. And good luck! Short irons Time to buy some new clubs.

Brassie Ostrich Better luck next time! That's a floater. A gentle fade You need more lessons! Carrying your clubs Start your backswing, take it slow. Ostrich Score a double bogey And lose your mind, Condor Score an albatross Texas Wedge Jack Nicklaus And good luck! Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Pull out your 3-wood and.... Score an albatross Looking for a new angle of attack To buy a drink for Good rhythm Spoon Thinking your at Sunningdale Ben Hogan You deserve a mulligan. Reading the green, That's a floater.

Act your age and not like a pro. Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Fluffy lie Steady footwork Swear at the Captain and get banned. You deserve a mulligan. Out of frustration Fried egg Pitch and run Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Cleek Pitching Wedge.