Golf Ipsum

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Pull out your 3-wood and...

You need more lessons! Dancing on the practise ground. 3-iron comes out, Tee off Get your 5 wood The 19th Hole. Thinking your at Sunningdale Open clubface Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Chip and run Start your backswing, take it slow. Swing quickly, Run down the fairway shouting Top your tee shot, For packing in golf Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Mind where the divot lands!

Pull out your 3-wood and.... At Augusta National Get a new Sand Iron Get a new Sand Iron Good break! Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Get your 5 wood Open clubface Get thrown off the course Cheating on the next hole Jigger Use your Lob Wedge Fried egg Condor Pitching Wedge While drinking beer Ostrich Use your Lob Wedge.

Fluffy lie And lose your mind, And your caddie gets cross. "Get in the hole!" Aiming for the groundsman Tee off Phil Mickelson Good break! While heckling your opponent, Completely missed the ball, oops! Weak grip That's a gimme. A controlled draw A scratch golfer, Tearing up a scorecard Swing quickly, Pull out your 3-wood and.... Hole in One! Get your 5 wood Get your 5 wood Rub of the green Plugged lie in the bunker Mind where the divot lands! The 19th Hole. Arnold Palmer.

Condor Score an eagle Begin the front nine holes, Jack Nicklaus Gary Player Taking a practise swing, Score an albatross That's a big hook And getting annoyed Pretend nothing just happened and smile. A gentle fade Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, To buy a drink for That's a big slice Gary Player And swing. Out of frustration That's a big hook To distract your opponent And getting annoyed For getting banned from the course. Phil Mickelson Score an eagle Pulled to the left Taking a practise swing, Aiming for the groundsman.

Reading the green, Splash shot At Augusta National Score a double bogey Score a bogey Losing your ball in the rough, And swing. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Swear at the Captain and get banned. Score an eagle Score a par.