Golf Ipsum

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Out of anger

Gary Player Completely missed the ball, oops! Score a bogey Short irons Run down the fairway shouting That's a big slice Score a bogey Pull out the driver and.... Score an eagle Reading the green, Swear at the Captain and get banned. Jigger Using your putter to plumb-bob, Score a double bogey Texas Wedge Rub of the green To buy a drink for Pulled to the left.

Long irons Texas Wedge 3-iron comes out, Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Looking for a new angle of attack Hole in One! Feeling happy now, Completely missed the ball, oops! Thinking your at Sunningdale Score a double bogey Act your age and not like a pro. Act your age and not like a pro.

Score a par Completely missed the ball, oops! Pushed to the right Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Long irons Use your Lob Wedge You skied it! Pull out your 3-wood and.... Niblick Open clubface Phil Mickelson Open stance.

Score an eagle Pulled to the left Thinking your at Sunningdale That's a floater. Score an eagle Pushed to the right Mind where the divot lands! A scratch golfer, Reading the green, A gentle fade Score an albatross Tom Watson Using your putter to plumb-bob, And your caddie gets cross. Swing quickly, Short irons.

Act your age and not like a pro. Steady footwork Out of frustration Phil Mickelson Duck hook! Feeling happy now, Cheating on the next hole Completely missed the ball, oops! Swing quickly, For getting banned from the course. Chip and run Weak grip Score a par Short irons Tiger Woods To buy a drink for That's a gimme. Long irons Swear at the Captain and get banned. Making a lot of noise Pitch and run.