Golf Ipsum

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Run down the fairway shouting

At Augusta National Chip and run You got the yips Act your age and not like a pro. Pull out the driver and.... Arnold Palmer Condor Begin the back nine holes, You deserve a mulligan. Condor Tom Watson Carrying your clubs Score a par Tearing up a scorecard And snap your club in half. Get your 5 wood And swing. You need more lessons! While drinking beer Texas Wedge Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Score an eagle Swear at the Captain and get banned.

Pitching Wedge Splash shot Spoon "Get in the hole!" Making a lot of noise Mashie Cleek Time to buy some new clubs Fluffy lie Open stance Good rhythm Phil Mickelson Time to buy some new clubs And shank it. Fluffy lie Score a birdie Good break! You need more lessons! Pitch and run Score a double bogey Fluffy lie Splash shot And snap your club in half.

Use your Lob Wedge Jigger Pull out the driver and.... Score a double bogey You got the yips Making a lot of noise Good rhythm.

Get your 5 wood Good rhythm Score a par Swear at the Captain and get banned. Time to buy some new clubs Score a par Tom Watson Using your putter to plumb-bob, And getting annoyed Fried egg Feeling happy now, Good break!

Duck hook! Run down the fairway shouting Ostrich And snap your club in half. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. That's a floater. Mind where the divot lands! Mashie Score a par Arnold Palmer Thinking your at Sunningdale You got the yips Fluffy lie Ostrich Visit the golf range.