Golf Ipsum

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For getting banned from the course

Cleek That's a gimme. Niblick Visit the golf range, Better luck next time! Jack Nicklaus And snap your club in half. Get your 5 wood Score a double bogey Struck by lightning And lose your mind, Hole in One! Tiger Woods Cleek Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Ostrich And shank it.

Run down the fairway shouting The 19th Hole. And good luck! Spoon At the Clubhouse, Use your Lob Wedge Phoenix Ostrich Losing your ball in the rough, Phoenix Losing your ball in the rough, Begin the front nine holes, Feeling happy now, Good break! Lose your putter, forced to go home. Looking for a new angle of attack Tom Watson For packing in golf Swear at the Captain and get banned. Cleek Begin the front nine holes, Get thrown off the course Using your putter to plumb-bob, The 19th Hole. Carrying your clubs Pushed to the right "Get in the hole!" Time to buy some new clubs Chip and run.

To distract your opponent Top your tee shot, Get thrown off the course Lose your putter, forced to go home. Run down the fairway shouting Use your Lob Wedge Run down the fairway shouting Score an eagle Tee off Ostrich Cleek Texas Wedge Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Condor Hit it as hard as you can You deserve a mulligan. Ostrich Pull out your 3-wood and.... A scratch golfer, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Steady footwork Arnold Palmer Open clubface And your caddie gets cross. While heckling your opponent, Score a bogey Pulled to the left Your ball hits the Captain.

A gentle fade Splash shot Fluffy lie Rub of the green Duck hook! To distract your opponent Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Take a mulligan, Better luck next time! Struck by lightning Niblick Long irons Open stance Phoenix Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Score a par Good break! Score an albatross Pushed to the right Cheating on the next hole Brassie Your ball hits the Captain, Open stance.

Get thrown off the course Chip in While heckling your opponent, Use your Lob Wedge Open clubface Roll around on the ground laughing, And getting annoyed Swing quickly, Pitch and run Get thrown off the course Good rhythm And shank it. And swing. At Augusta National Walking over the putting green.