Golf Ipsum

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Get a new Sand Iron

3-iron comes out, The 19th Hole. For packing in golf And your caddie gets cross. Steady footwork While drinking beer Walking over the putting green.

Rub of the green Tearing up a scorecard Duck hook! Phil Mickelson Short irons Completely missed the ball, oops! Tiger Woods Get your 5 wood Roll around on the ground laughing, Cheating on the next hole.

Ben Hogan At Augusta National Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Pushed to the right Act your age and not like a pro. Walking over the putting green. Long irons A controlled draw Tiger Woods Aiming for the groundsman Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Spoon To distract your opponent At Augusta National That's a gimme.

Using your putter to plumb-bob, Tearing up a scorecard Time to buy some new clubs Tearing up a scorecard Better luck next time! And lose your mind, Pull out your 3-wood and.... Spoon Tearing up a scorecard Score a birdie Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Swing quickly, Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Score a par You need more lessons! And your caddie gets cross. Waggle your hips and swing Pull out the driver and.... Looking for a new angle of attack Losing your ball in the rough, Struck by lightning Mashie Weak grip Reading the green, Jigger Mind where the divot lands!

You need more lessons! Jack Nicklaus Tearing up a scorecard Roll around on the ground laughing, Tom Watson Swear at the Captain and get banned. Hole in One! Begin the back nine holes, Feeling happy now, Fluffy lie Take a mulligan, Run down the fairway shouting Begin the front nine holes.