Golf Ipsum
Rub of the green
That's a gimme. Weak grip Hit it as hard as you can Your ball hits the Captain, Duck hook! Run down the fairway shouting And shank it. A controlled draw Begin the back nine holes, Pitch and run Texas Wedge Score an albatross And getting annoyed Hit it as hard as you can Oops, your ball is in the bunker. And swing. Good break! Reading the green, Get your 5 wood That's a big slice.
At the Clubhouse, Mind where the divot lands! Aiming for the groundsman Aiming for the groundsman Feeling happy now, Begin the back nine holes, Mind where the divot lands! Score a bogey Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Struck by lightning "Get in the hole!" Losing your ball in the rough, Fluffy lie Completely missed the ball, oops!
Dancing on the practise ground. While heckling your opponent, Short irons Making a lot of noise Mind where the divot lands! And good luck! Tearing up a scorecard Carrying your clubs Score a par.
Carrying your clubs Condor Out of anger Waggle your hips and swing Start your backswing, take it slow. "Get in the hole!" Cleek 3-iron comes out, Lose your putter, forced to go home. Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Score a bogey Out of anger Using your putter to plumb-bob, Looking for a new angle of attack Carrying your clubs A gentle fade Score a double bogey Tom Watson Steady footwork Spoon Tearing up a scorecard Open clubface A controlled draw And lose your mind.
Time to buy some new clubs That's a floater. The 19th Hole. Score a birdie Weak grip Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Start your backswing, take it slow. Lose your putter, forced to go home. Spoon Splash shot Chip and run While heckling your opponent, Pitching Wedge Get your 5 wood Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Carrying your clubs Swear at the Captain and get banned. To distract your opponent Tee off Niblick Chip and run Begin the back nine holes, Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Plugged lie in the bunker.