Golf Ipsum

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Condor Reading the green, Get your 5 wood Pitch and run Aiming for the groundsman Waggle your hips and swing Making a lot of noise Ben Hogan To distract your opponent Dancing on the practise ground.

That's a floater. Begin the back nine holes, Pull out your 3-wood and.... That's a gimme. Pushed to the right Pitch and run Making a lot of noise Start your backswing, take it slow. Cleek Aiming for the groundsman Get a new Sand Iron Carrying your clubs.

Phoenix You deserve a mulligan. Chip in Thinking your at Sunningdale Score an albatross And lose your mind, Win the Green Jacket Thinking your at Sunningdale Win the Green Jacket Pushed to the right And lose your mind, Thinking your at Sunningdale Weak grip Pretend nothing just happened and smile.

Open clubface Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Swear at the Captain and get banned. And good luck! "Get in the hole!" Plugged lie in the bunker Score a par Score an eagle Swing quickly, "Get in the hole!".

Using your putter to plumb-bob, Ben Hogan Take a mulligan, Out of anger Pitching Wedge Lose your putter, forced to go home. While heckling your opponent, Weak grip To buy a drink for Out of frustration Mind where the divot lands! You got the yips Jack Nicklaus Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Mashie.