Golf Ipsum

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Lose your putter, forced to go home

To distract your opponent And your caddie gets cross. And getting annoyed Tom Watson That's a gimme. Pulled to the left Pull out your 3-wood and.... Begin the back nine holes, Rub of the green Open clubface Fluffy lie Waggle your hips and swing Pull out your 3-wood and.... And swing. Waggle your hips and swing Fluffy lie Struck by lightning Better luck next time! Get a new Sand Iron Brassie Struck by lightning.

That's a big hook Out of anger Using your putter to plumb-bob, Pitch and run Gary Player Pitching Wedge Looking for a new angle of attack And getting annoyed Score an albatross.

3-iron comes out, Get your 5 wood Pitch and run And good luck! Taking a practise swing, Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Carrying your clubs Losing your ball in the rough, Swing quickly, Fried egg Making a lot of noise Lose your putter, forced to go home. Start your backswing, take it slow.

Cheating on the next hole Carrying your clubs And snap your club in half. And getting annoyed Cleek Take a mulligan.

You skied it! Ostrich Your ball hits the Captain, Lose your putter, forced to go home. And your caddie gets cross. Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Splash shot Your ball hits the Captain.