Golf Ipsum

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Begin the front nine holes

Ostrich At Augusta National Pulled to the left Condor Condor Weak grip Get a new Sand Iron Start your backswing, take it slow. And good luck! Hit it as hard as you can Splash shot Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Get a new Sand Iron Spoon Condor.

"Get in the hole!" Rub of the green Swear at the Captain and get banned. Get your 5 wood Weak grip The 19th Hole. Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Spoon Brassie To distract your opponent Chip and run Get a new Sand Iron Score a birdie That's a floater. Open stance Good break! Swing quickly, Tearing up a scorecard Open stance Short irons Plugged lie in the bunker Losing your ball in the rough.

And your caddie gets cross. Steady footwork Reading the green, Tearing up a scorecard Swear at the Captain and get banned. A scratch golfer, Take a mulligan, That's a floater. Run down the fairway shouting That's a big hook Tiger Woods You got the yips Tiger Woods Dancing on the practise ground. Making a lot of noise While heckling your opponent, Plugged lie in the bunker Tearing up a scorecard Phoenix Condor Pull out your 3-wood and.... Completely missed the ball, oops! That's a gimme. Use your Lob Wedge Arnold Palmer.

Pull out your 3-wood and.... Open clubface Start your backswing, take it slow. Jigger Plugged lie in the bunker Arnold Palmer Open clubface Hole in One!

Score an eagle Spoon Phil Mickelson The 19th Hole. Looking for a new angle of attack Visit the golf range, Better luck next time! Walking over the putting green. Swear at the Captain and get banned. And snap your club in half. For getting banned from the course. Roll around on the ground laughing, Steady footwork Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Win the Green Jacket Open stance Get thrown off the course Top your tee shot, That's a floater. Score an eagle Score an eagle Dancing on the practise ground. Jigger.