Golf Ipsum

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Ostrich

Arnold Palmer To distract your opponent You skied it! Good break! And snap your club in half. That's a gimme. Open stance Jigger Tee off Mind where the divot lands! Better luck next time! Reading the green, Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Time to buy some new clubs Open clubface Steady footwork Niblick Out of frustration.

While heckling your opponent, Act your age and not like a pro. Pull out your 3-wood and.... Your ball hits the Captain, You deserve a mulligan. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Good break! Tee off Gary Player Steady footwork Swear at the Captain and get banned. Swing quickly, Get thrown off the course And swing. Cheating on the next hole Out of anger.

Weak grip Ben Hogan Weak grip Plugged lie in the bunker Act your age and not like a pro. For packing in golf A gentle fade Open clubface Oops, your ball is in the bunker. That's a big slice And swing. And swing. Visit the golf range, Niblick Start your backswing, take it slow. Time to buy some new clubs Fried egg Mind where the divot lands! And swing. Take a mulligan, At St. Andrews, 3-iron comes out, And snap your club in half.

Start your backswing, take it slow. Score an albatross While drinking beer Out of frustration And swing. Completely missed the ball, oops! Steady footwork Dancing on the practise ground. Top your tee shot, That's a big slice Pulled to the left Out of frustration Out of anger Pushed to the right Pitch and run Weak grip Pretend nothing just happened and smile.

Run down the fairway shouting Carrying your clubs Act your age and not like a pro. Plugged lie in the bunker Act your age and not like a pro. Good rhythm.