Golf Ipsum
Walking over the putting green
Spoon Pretend nothing just happened and smile. At St. Andrews, Pull out your 3-wood and.... Shouting Fore as loud as you can. At Augusta National Pull out your 3-wood and.... While heckling your opponent, Begin the back nine holes, Take a mulligan, Act your age and not like a pro. To distract your opponent Completely missed the ball, oops! Pretend nothing just happened and smile. While drinking beer Lose your putter, forced to go home. Jigger Carrying your clubs And snap your club in half. Lose your putter, forced to go home. Score an eagle Open clubface Losing your ball in the rough, You need more lessons!
Struck by lightning Score a double bogey And shank it. And good luck! Phil Mickelson And good luck! That's a big slice Get your 5 wood Completely missed the ball, oops! Chip and run Phil Mickelson Score a birdie Cleek Better luck next time! Pull out the driver and.... Pull out the driver and.... Long irons Out of frustration Use your Lob Wedge Plugged lie in the bunker Plugged lie in the bunker Score an albatross Hit it as hard as you can Mashie Niblick A gentle fade Use your Lob Wedge.
Plugged lie in the bunker Arnold Palmer Splash shot Hole in One! Start your backswing, take it slow. Weak grip Steady footwork You deserve a mulligan. Score an albatross Reading the green, And lose your mind, Condor Phil Mickelson A controlled draw Jigger Get your 5 wood Top your tee shot, Brassie Top your tee shot, Arnold Palmer Top your tee shot, Act your age and not like a pro.
Swing quickly, Lose your putter, forced to go home. Tee off Weak grip And getting annoyed While drinking beer And snap your club in half. Ostrich 3-iron comes out, Pull out the driver and.... Get thrown off the course And your caddie gets cross. 3-iron comes out, Making a lot of noise Lose your putter, forced to go home. Texas Wedge You got the yips.
Short irons Time to buy some new clubs Use your Lob Wedge Get thrown off the course Get a new Sand Iron Using your putter to plumb-bob, You got the yips Pull out the driver and.... Swear at the Captain and get banned. Cleek While heckling your opponent, Looking for a new angle of attack Ostrich Chip and run Weak grip Using your putter to plumb-bob, Arnold Palmer Steady footwork At St. Andrews, Steady footwork And lose your mind, Rub of the green Time to buy some new clubs "Get in the hole!" For packing in golf Gary Player.