Golf Ipsum

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The 19th Hole

Score an albatross Out of frustration Score a birdie Out of frustration Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Score an albatross At Augusta National That's a floater. Out of frustration Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Dancing on the practise ground. Lose your putter, forced to go home. And swing. Mashie Tom Watson Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Weak grip "Get in the hole!" Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Texas Wedge Get your 5 wood Get your 5 wood.

Visit the golf range, Pull out your 3-wood and.... Score a par Cheating on the next hole Spoon Tee off Ben Hogan Completely missed the ball, oops! Using your putter to plumb-bob, Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Take a mulligan, Get thrown off the course Score a par That's a gimme. Visit the golf range, Get thrown off the course And snap your club in half. Condor Jack Nicklaus Walking over the putting green. Time to buy some new clubs That's a gimme.

Struck by lightning Phil Mickelson Tom Watson Short irons At St. Andrews, Tiger Woods 3-iron comes out, Duck hook! The 19th Hole. Good rhythm Niblick That's a floater. Time to buy some new clubs Hole in One! You deserve a mulligan. Struck by lightning Swing quickly, Mashie Thinking your at Sunningdale And snap your club in half. For packing in golf Making a lot of noise Take a mulligan, Phoenix Fluffy lie Carrying your clubs Texas Wedge Start your backswing, take it slow. Niblick.

Chip in Losing your ball in the rough, Cleek Act your age and not like a pro. Out of anger At the Clubhouse, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. And swing.

A controlled draw Score an albatross Jack Nicklaus Pull out the driver and.... Open clubface Time to buy some new clubs Losing your ball in the rough, And your caddie gets cross. The 19th Hole. Texas Wedge Good break!