Golf Ipsum

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Waggle your hips and swing

Pull out your 3-wood and.... Pull out the driver and.... You got the yips That's a big hook Condor Take a mulligan, Open stance Hit it as hard as you can Time to buy some new clubs.

"Get in the hole!" Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Pitch and run And swing. You got the yips Roll around on the ground laughing, Get a new Sand Iron Mind where the divot lands! A controlled draw Get your 5 wood At Augusta National Fried egg To buy a drink for Top your tee shot, A scratch golfer, Making a lot of noise Tearing up a scorecard And getting annoyed Taking a practise swing, Fluffy lie Take a mulligan, Aiming for the groundsman To buy a drink for Roll around on the ground laughing, To buy a drink for Arnold Palmer Swing quickly, Oops, your ball is in the bunker.

A controlled draw Feeling happy now, And shank it. Run down the fairway shouting That's a big hook.

You got the yips Carrying your clubs Spoon Gary Player Run down the fairway shouting Start your backswing, take it slow. Score a double bogey And shank it. Arnold Palmer Run down the fairway shouting At the Clubhouse, 3-iron comes out, Fried egg Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Pushed to the right Open stance Gary Player Score an eagle Good rhythm Out of frustration Struck by lightning Taking a practise swing, A scratch golfer, Gary Player Score a par.

And snap your club in half. Open clubface And your caddie gets cross. While drinking beer Gary Player Begin the back nine holes, Carrying your clubs Your ball hits the Captain, You need more lessons! Pushed to the right.