Golf Ipsum

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Get a new Sand Iron

Fluffy lie And getting annoyed Steady footwork Pull out your 3-wood and.... Better luck next time!

You need more lessons! Taking a practise swing, 3-iron comes out, Pushed to the right Pitching Wedge Ben Hogan Begin the back nine holes, Better luck next time! Walking over the putting green. Pitch and run And snap your club in half. Brassie Score an albatross Score an albatross Win the Green Jacket To distract your opponent Pull out your 3-wood and....

Using your putter to plumb-bob, Condor Chip and run Score a bogey A scratch golfer, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Gary Player Cleek Spoon Making a lot of noise.

Mind where the divot lands! Fluffy lie Carrying your clubs Run down the fairway shouting Time to buy some new clubs At Augusta National Pull out your 3-wood and.... Jack Nicklaus Begin the back nine holes, Score a double bogey Visit the golf range, And good luck! Begin the back nine holes, Score a bogey At Augusta National Texas Wedge Aiming for the groundsman Top your tee shot, That's a gimme. Fluffy lie And good luck! Niblick.

At Augusta National You deserve a mulligan. Waggle your hips and swing Splash shot To buy a drink for Get your 5 wood Out of anger Act your age and not like a pro. And good luck! For getting banned from the course. And swing. Pulled to the left That's a big hook.