Golf Ipsum
Pretend nothing just happened and smile
Waggle your hips and swing Swing quickly, Tiger Woods Spoon Losing your ball in the rough, Waggle your hips and swing Lose your putter, forced to go home. Pitching Wedge Duck hook! That's a floater. Pull out your 3-wood and.... Long irons At St. Andrews, Jack Nicklaus And lose your mind, Chip in Phil Mickelson Looking for a new angle of attack Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Get thrown off the course A scratch golfer, Use your Lob Wedge Get a new Sand Iron Arnold Palmer Lose your putter, forced to go home. Weak grip You need more lessons!
Pull out the driver and.... And good luck! Good break! And snap your club in half. Begin the back nine holes, Pushed to the right Chip in And lose your mind, Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Score a par Spoon Phil Mickelson Chip and run Gary Player Phoenix Waggle your hips and swing Score a double bogey Phil Mickelson Pull out your 3-wood and.... At Augusta National While drinking beer Start your backswing, take it slow. That's a gimme. For getting banned from the course. Long irons Pulled to the left Score a double bogey Start your backswing, take it slow. Brassie.
Top your tee shot, A scratch golfer, Arnold Palmer Waggle your hips and swing That's a floater. Brassie Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste.
Tearing up a scorecard Pitching Wedge A gentle fade Good rhythm Score a par Win the Green Jacket And snap your club in half. Ben Hogan You deserve a mulligan. Duck hook! Act your age and not like a pro. Making a lot of noise Your ball hits the Captain, Open clubface Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Pitch and run Making a lot of noise Jigger Condor That's a gimme. Completely missed the ball, oops! Long irons Score a double bogey Hit it as hard as you can.
Pull out the driver and.... Weak grip That's a big hook And swing. Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Time to buy some new clubs Carrying your clubs Carrying your clubs Score an albatross Making a lot of noise Get your 5 wood Cleek Cheating on the next hole Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Feeling happy now, Chip in Good rhythm Brassie Begin the front nine holes, Chip and run Swear at the Captain and get banned.