Golf Ipsum

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"Get in the hole!"

At Augusta National To buy a drink for Run down the fairway shouting Start your backswing, take it slow. Swear at the Captain and get banned. Your ball hits the Captain, Pulled to the left.

To buy a drink for Tom Watson Long irons Weak grip Better luck next time! Run down the fairway shouting Get thrown off the course Fried egg Condor Completely missed the ball, oops! Struck by lightning You need more lessons! Hit it as hard as you can Run down the fairway shouting.

At Augusta National Begin the front nine holes, A gentle fade For packing in golf For getting banned from the course. That's a gimme. Open clubface Carrying your clubs Jack Nicklaus Brassie Take a mulligan, Start your backswing, take it slow. Tiger Woods Good rhythm Arnold Palmer Chip in A controlled draw You got the yips Pitch and run Score an albatross Thinking your at Sunningdale Phil Mickelson Get a new Sand Iron Score a bogey.

A gentle fade 3-iron comes out, Taking a practise swing, Pulled to the left You deserve a mulligan. Long irons While heckling your opponent, Splash shot Reading the green, Mashie Completely missed the ball, oops! Get thrown off the course "Get in the hole!" To distract your opponent Long irons Out of frustration For getting banned from the course. While heckling your opponent.

Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Run down the fairway shouting Chip in Pull out your 3-wood and.... Aiming for the groundsman Pushed to the right Gary Player Completely missed the ball, oops! At the Clubhouse, Pitching Wedge And snap your club in half. Score a birdie Win the Green Jacket Making a lot of noise Act your age and not like a pro. Gary Player Rub of the green Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Chip in Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Jigger Fried egg At St. Andrews, Steady footwork Jack Nicklaus Start your backswing, take it slow.