Golf Ipsum

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Thinking your at Sunningdale

To distract your opponent At the Clubhouse, Gary Player Rub of the green Good break!

Tiger Woods Using your putter to plumb-bob, Lose your putter, forced to go home. Looking for a new angle of attack Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Act your age and not like a pro. "Get in the hole!" Open stance Get a new Sand Iron Pushed to the right Open clubface While heckling your opponent, And good luck!

You need more lessons! Phoenix And lose your mind, Pull out the driver and.... To buy a drink for You got the yips Walking over the putting green. Score an albatross Making a lot of noise 3-iron comes out, Phoenix Condor Niblick Reading the green, For getting banned from the course. Chip in Chip and run A scratch golfer, Brassie Pitch and run Pulled to the left Pull out the driver and.... Splash shot At Augusta National Get your 5 wood.

Spoon Time to buy some new clubs Arnold Palmer Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, At St. Andrews, To distract your opponent Jigger Pull out your 3-wood and.... Begin the back nine holes, Chip and run Duck hook! Splash shot You skied it! Score a bogey At Augusta National.

Better luck next time! A gentle fade Making a lot of noise Pitch and run Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Better luck next time! Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Out of anger Pitching Wedge Take a mulligan, Run down the fairway shouting And shank it. Fluffy lie Get your 5 wood Score a birdie Pitching Wedge You deserve a mulligan. Using your putter to plumb-bob, You deserve a mulligan. At Augusta National.