Golf Ipsum

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Ostrich

Waggle your hips and swing Your ball hits the Captain, A scratch golfer, Pitch and run Brassie Long irons And good luck! Pulled to the left.

Get a new Sand Iron Making a lot of noise Begin the front nine holes, Top your tee shot, Score an eagle Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Dancing on the practise ground. Tee off You deserve a mulligan. For getting banned from the course. Out of frustration Weak grip Walking over the putting green. Start your backswing, take it slow. Better luck next time! You skied it! Act your age and not like a pro. A gentle fade At Augusta National Lose your putter, forced to go home. Good rhythm And shank it. Better luck next time! Texas Wedge Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Tearing up a scorecard To distract your opponent Jack Nicklaus.

Phoenix Shouting Fore as loud as you can. And swing. While heckling your opponent, Start your backswing, take it slow. Rub of the green Weak grip That's a big slice.

Thinking your at Sunningdale Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Open clubface Get your 5 wood A controlled draw Win the Green Jacket Swing quickly, You skied it! 3-iron comes out, You got the yips Top your tee shot, "Get in the hole!" Score an albatross Looking for a new angle of attack Spoon Time to buy some new clubs A scratch golfer, Cleek Condor Out of anger Win the Green Jacket Looking for a new angle of attack Your ball hits the Captain, Swing quickly, Phoenix Open clubface Completely missed the ball, oops! Aiming for the groundsman Weak grip.

Start your backswing, take it slow. You deserve a mulligan. Mashie Get thrown off the course Splash shot And lose your mind, Losing your ball in the rough, Fluffy lie Chip and run Struck by lightning Completely missed the ball, oops! Open stance Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Pull out the driver and.... Tom Watson Reading the green, Score a double bogey To distract your opponent Begin the back nine holes, Score a double bogey A controlled draw You skied it! Run down the fairway shouting You need more lessons! Score a bogey Spoon Top your tee shot.