Golf Ipsum

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Swear at the Captain and get banned

Duck hook! At the Clubhouse, Niblick Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Aiming for the groundsman For getting banned from the course. Tee off Take a mulligan, Tearing up a scorecard Get your 5 wood Losing your ball in the rough, For getting banned from the course. Act your age and not like a pro. Splash shot Hit it as hard as you can Score a double bogey That's a floater. Use your Lob Wedge Begin the front nine holes, That's a gimme. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Lose your putter, forced to go home.

Score a double bogey Cleek Taking a practise swing, Spoon And snap your club in half. Arnold Palmer Score an albatross Hole in One! Pull out your 3-wood and.... Thinking your at Sunningdale Phoenix While heckling your opponent, Score a birdie And shank it. Jack Nicklaus.

Using your putter to plumb-bob, Time to buy some new clubs Score a par Jigger Carrying your clubs That's a big slice And snap your club in half. "Get in the hole!" Swear at the Captain and get banned. Spoon Jack Nicklaus Brassie Open stance And getting annoyed Get thrown off the course Pretend nothing just happened and smile. That's a big slice.

That's a big hook Weak grip And lose your mind, Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Swear at the Captain and get banned. Splash shot Look out a ball is coming straight for you! You deserve a mulligan. Carrying your clubs Out of frustration Arnold Palmer Open stance Out of frustration Ostrich Ostrich Ostrich That's a big slice.

Pitching Wedge To buy a drink for Ostrich Roll around on the ground laughing, Struck by lightning And lose your mind, Dancing on the practise ground. You need more lessons!