Golf Ipsum
To distract your opponent
Ben Hogan Time to buy some new clubs Spoon Swear at the Captain and get banned. Chip in Take a mulligan, Run down the fairway shouting Struck by lightning Pull out the driver and.... Looking for a new angle of attack Spoon Reading the green, Pull out your 3-wood and.... The 19th Hole. Chip and run Short irons Hole in One! And snap your club in half. Arnold Palmer Niblick Walking over the putting green. Using your putter to plumb-bob, While drinking beer And shank it. Dancing on the practise ground.
Phoenix Spoon Hit it as hard as you can Spoon Score an albatross Roll around on the ground laughing, Top your tee shot, Tiger Woods Score a par Pull out your 3-wood and.... Score a birdie Waggle your hips and swing Top your tee shot, Tee off Spoon Jigger Fluffy lie Completely missed the ball, oops! Get a new Sand Iron Pitching Wedge Short irons.
Tee off To distract your opponent "Get in the hole!" Mashie Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Use your Lob Wedge Good break! Good rhythm Brassie Pull out your 3-wood and.... Fluffy lie Struck by lightning Win the Green Jacket Act your age and not like a pro. A gentle fade Time to buy some new clubs Win the Green Jacket Start your backswing, take it slow.
Pushed to the right Fried egg Long irons At Augusta National Waggle your hips and swing Get a new Sand Iron A gentle fade Chip in Get a new Sand Iron Swear at the Captain and get banned. Cheating on the next hole Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Act your age and not like a pro. Tee off And lose your mind, That's a big slice Open stance Pulled to the left Take a mulligan, Ben Hogan "Get in the hole!" Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Begin the back nine holes.
Pull out your 3-wood and.... Waggle your hips and swing That's a floater. Weak grip For getting banned from the course. Spoon Walking over the putting green. That's a big hook Rub of the green Taking a practise swing, While drinking beer Spoon Weak grip Fried egg Arnold Palmer Using your putter to plumb-bob.