Golf Ipsum

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Pull out the driver and...

Get your 5 wood Out of frustration Swear at the Captain and get banned. Duck hook! Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Pitching Wedge.

A gentle fade Using your putter to plumb-bob, Jigger Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Thinking your at Sunningdale You skied it! While heckling your opponent, Score an eagle Feeling happy now, Tiger Woods A controlled draw Score a double bogey Score a par Visit the golf range, Niblick Phoenix That's a floater. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, At the Clubhouse, Fried egg You deserve a mulligan. Rub of the green Get a new Sand Iron Visit the golf range, Use your Lob Wedge.

At Augusta National Aiming for the groundsman You need more lessons! Pull out the driver and.... Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Phil Mickelson You skied it! And swing. That's a big slice Steady footwork Tom Watson Taking a practise swing, Fluffy lie While heckling your opponent, Phil Mickelson Top your tee shot, Hole in One!

Roll around on the ground laughing, To buy a drink for That's a gimme. Ben Hogan Act your age and not like a pro. To buy a drink for Waggle your hips and swing Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Gary Player Duck hook! And getting annoyed And shank it. Long irons Cheating on the next hole For getting banned from the course. Fried egg.

Score a par Score a double bogey Phoenix Get thrown off the course To distract your opponent.