Golf Ipsum

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Open stance

Your ball hits the Captain, Looking for a new angle of attack Plugged lie in the bunker Get your 5 wood Fried egg Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Score a bogey Ostrich Fried egg And lose your mind, Roll around on the ground laughing, Long irons Pushed to the right And snap your club in half. Hit it as hard as you can Ostrich Using your putter to plumb-bob.

Walking over the putting green. Ben Hogan Run down the fairway shouting Score a bogey "Get in the hole!" Get your 5 wood Cheating on the next hole Ben Hogan To buy a drink for Gary Player Score a double bogey And shank it. Tee off Jack Nicklaus Ostrich Pitching Wedge Take a mulligan, Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, A gentle fade While heckling your opponent, Using your putter to plumb-bob, Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Time to buy some new clubs Chip in.

Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Mind where the divot lands! Struck by lightning Thinking your at Sunningdale Splash shot Condor Score an albatross And lose your mind, Begin the back nine holes, Condor Score a par To distract your opponent Plugged lie in the bunker Open stance That's a big hook And lose your mind, And good luck! Phil Mickelson Better luck next time! Shouting Fore as loud as you can.

And shank it. Chip in For getting banned from the course. Texas Wedge Good break! Walking over the putting green. Ben Hogan Losing your ball in the rough, Dancing on the practise ground. Chip in Open stance Fried egg Out of frustration To distract your opponent Begin the front nine holes, Long irons You skied it! That's a floater. And your caddie gets cross. Tearing up a scorecard.

Roll around on the ground laughing, Get thrown off the course Texas Wedge And lose your mind, Score an eagle Score an albatross Fluffy lie Mind where the divot lands! Pushed to the right That's a gimme.