Golf Ipsum

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For getting banned from the course

You need more lessons! Begin the front nine holes, Pitch and run Jack Nicklaus And getting annoyed 3-iron comes out, Feeling happy now, A controlled draw Swear at the Captain and get banned. Top your tee shot, Mind where the divot lands! Steady footwork.

Begin the back nine holes, Open stance A gentle fade Tee off And getting annoyed Struck by lightning.

Walking over the putting green. Looking for a new angle of attack Mind where the divot lands! Losing your ball in the rough, And your caddie gets cross. Hit it as hard as you can Get your 5 wood Waggle your hips and swing.

Weak grip That's a gimme. Plugged lie in the bunker Fluffy lie Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, You deserve a mulligan. Use your Lob Wedge And good luck! At St. Andrews, Better luck next time! And good luck! That's a floater. Score a bogey You got the yips Good break! For getting banned from the course. Shouting Fore as loud as you can. A controlled draw Score an albatross Swear at the Captain and get banned. You skied it! 3-iron comes out.

That's a big hook Losing your ball in the rough, Ostrich At the Clubhouse, Aiming for the groundsman While drinking beer Take a mulligan, Get thrown off the course Pull out your 3-wood and.... Open clubface Pushed to the right Texas Wedge To buy a drink for Spoon Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Better luck next time! Better luck next time! Hit it as hard as you can Ben Hogan Phoenix.