Golf Ipsum

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Open stance

Your ball hits the Captain, That's a big slice Phoenix Top your tee shot, Steady footwork And getting annoyed Swear at the Captain and get banned. Jack Nicklaus Looking for a new angle of attack Pitching Wedge That's a big hook Splash shot.

Tom Watson A gentle fade Waggle your hips and swing Get a new Sand Iron Steady footwork Lose your putter, forced to go home. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Open stance And good luck! And your caddie gets cross. Run down the fairway shouting Using your putter to plumb-bob, A controlled draw Out of anger Jack Nicklaus Reading the green, "Get in the hole!" While heckling your opponent, Out of anger Tiger Woods To buy a drink for Jigger Score a birdie.

Fluffy lie Texas Wedge Score an eagle Mashie Struck by lightning Losing your ball in the rough, Hole in One! Carrying your clubs Thinking your at Sunningdale Open stance Pull out the driver and.... Begin the front nine holes, Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Plugged lie in the bunker Phil Mickelson And your caddie gets cross. Short irons Use your Lob Wedge At St. Andrews, Niblick Niblick At St. Andrews, That's a floater.

Looking for a new angle of attack Fluffy lie Phoenix Open stance Score a double bogey Feeling happy now, Tee off Rub of the green Pull out the driver and.... Score an albatross Long irons Jack Nicklaus Score a double bogey A scratch golfer, Fried egg Struck by lightning Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Short irons That's a floater. Look out a ball is coming straight for you! And snap your club in half. 3-iron comes out, Mashie A gentle fade.

Thinking your at Sunningdale Tiger Woods Open stance Cheating on the next hole Lose your putter, forced to go home. Score a double bogey Phil Mickelson And lose your mind, Score a birdie Duck hook!