Golf Ipsum

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Get your 5 wood

Hole in One! Time to buy some new clubs Swing quickly, Out of anger Gary Player Cleek "Get in the hole!" Reading the green, A controlled draw Score an albatross While heckling your opponent, Pushed to the right Chip in "Get in the hole!" Use your Lob Wedge Cheating on the next hole Mind where the divot lands! Completely missed the ball, oops! Begin the front nine holes, Carrying your clubs Take a mulligan, Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Ostrich Rub of the green Feeling happy now.

You deserve a mulligan. Splash shot That's a gimme. Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Gary Player Steady footwork Score a par Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Score a double bogey Start your backswing, take it slow. Tearing up a scorecard Score a double bogey Get thrown off the course Weak grip Out of frustration Pitching Wedge Gary Player Short irons Mind where the divot lands! At St. Andrews, Rub of the green Run down the fairway shouting Better luck next time!

Good rhythm Tee off Take a mulligan, At the Clubhouse, And your caddie gets cross. Spoon Pushed to the right Pushed to the right Looking for a new angle of attack Fluffy lie Spoon Phil Mickelson Take a mulligan, The 19th Hole. Cleek Score a bogey That's a gimme. Pulled to the left Hit it as hard as you can Begin the front nine holes, Aiming for the groundsman And swing. Good rhythm.

Swing quickly, Time to buy some new clubs And swing. And snap your club in half. Splash shot Hit it as hard as you can Fluffy lie Splash shot While heckling your opponent, Mind where the divot lands! Tiger Woods You deserve a mulligan. Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Fried egg.

Arnold Palmer At the Clubhouse, Using your putter to plumb-bob, The 19th Hole. Begin the front nine holes, Steady footwork For getting banned from the course. Score an albatross Pretend nothing just happened and smile. You deserve a mulligan. Making a lot of noise.