Golf Ipsum

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Niblick

Texas Wedge Use your Lob Wedge You deserve a mulligan. Tearing up a scorecard Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Aiming for the groundsman To distract your opponent A scratch golfer, And snap your club in half. While drinking beer Run down the fairway shouting Taking a practise swing, Gary Player And snap your club in half. Your ball hits the Captain, Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Score a double bogey Swear at the Captain and get banned. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. You got the yips Struck by lightning Ostrich Visit the golf range, Get your 5 wood Top your tee shot, Chip and run A scratch golfer, Losing your ball in the rough, And swing.

Feeling happy now, A controlled draw Reading the green, Get a new Sand Iron Score an albatross Out of frustration For packing in golf Duck hook! And your caddie gets cross. Score an eagle.

Tiger Woods Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, And good luck! Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Begin the back nine holes, Waggle your hips and swing Use your Lob Wedge That's a gimme. Using your putter to plumb-bob, Swing quickly, Open clubface Hole in One! Fried egg Tiger Woods Spoon Waggle your hips and swing Chip and run And good luck! Good rhythm Cleek Open stance And lose your mind, Good rhythm Roll around on the ground laughing.

For getting banned from the course. Out of anger At the Clubhouse, Tiger Woods Carrying your clubs.

Cleek Act your age and not like a pro. Walking over the putting green. Act your age and not like a pro. To buy a drink for Get your 5 wood Condor That's a floater. Aiming for the groundsman And getting annoyed Pull out your 3-wood and.... While heckling your opponent, Out of anger Looking for a new angle of attack Score a par Losing your ball in the rough, Oops, your ball is in the bunker. And your caddie gets cross. Run down the fairway shouting You got the yips Dancing on the practise ground. You got the yips The 19th Hole. Out of anger.