Golf Ipsum

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Tom Watson

Visit the golf range, Hole in One! Mashie Top your tee shot, Score a double bogey Score a par Gary Player Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Dancing on the practise ground. Score an eagle That's a big hook Phoenix.

Win the Green Jacket Tearing up a scorecard 3-iron comes out, Pitching Wedge Act your age and not like a pro. Using your putter to plumb-bob, Brassie Oops, your ball is in the bunker. To distract your opponent Mind where the divot lands! Chip in Thinking your at Sunningdale Using your putter to plumb-bob, A scratch golfer, Tiger Woods "Get in the hole!" Good rhythm Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Cleek At Augusta National And swing. Struck by lightning.

You deserve a mulligan. And your caddie gets cross. Taking a practise swing, Shouting Fore as loud as you can. While drinking beer Begin the front nine holes, Taking a practise swing, Mashie Tom Watson Score a birdie Using your putter to plumb-bob, Tiger Woods Fried egg Cheating on the next hole A gentle fade For packing in golf Start your backswing, take it slow.

Open stance While heckling your opponent, Arnold Palmer Score a birdie Losing your ball in the rough, A gentle fade Hole in One! At Augusta National.

Better luck next time! Phoenix Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Weak grip While heckling your opponent, Good rhythm Top your tee shot, Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Take a mulligan, To distract your opponent Good break! Tee off Tee off Score a bogey Ostrich Score an albatross At Augusta National Phil Mickelson While heckling your opponent, Arnold Palmer Top your tee shot, Splash shot Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Ben Hogan And good luck! Plugged lie in the bunker You need more lessons! Fluffy lie.