Golf Ipsum

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Hit it as hard as you can

Hit it as hard as you can The 19th Hole. A scratch golfer, That's a floater. Chip in Ben Hogan Jigger Tee off Cheating on the next hole Begin the front nine holes, Open clubface Plugged lie in the bunker Pulled to the left For packing in golf Score a birdie Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Jack Nicklaus That's a floater. A scratch golfer, Visit the golf range, And your caddie gets cross. To distract your opponent Losing your ball in the rough, Roll around on the ground laughing, To distract your opponent Weak grip Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Long irons Pretend nothing just happened and smile.

Splash shot A scratch golfer, Weak grip Cheating on the next hole Plugged lie in the bunker Short irons Begin the back nine holes, A scratch golfer, You deserve a mulligan. Making a lot of noise Struck by lightning Spoon Hole in One! Good break! Take a mulligan, Begin the back nine holes, You need more lessons! Get a new Sand Iron Roll around on the ground laughing, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Hole in One! Chip in Top your tee shot, Phoenix Out of frustration You got the yips And shank it. Dancing on the practise ground.

Start your backswing, take it slow. At the Clubhouse, Struck by lightning The 19th Hole. That's a big slice Chip in Get a new Sand Iron And shank it. "Get in the hole!" Pull out your 3-wood and.... Completely missed the ball, oops! For packing in golf Chip and run Ostrich Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Pushed to the right Use your Lob Wedge Score a birdie.

Gary Player Time to buy some new clubs "Get in the hole!" Get a new Sand Iron Score a bogey.

Completely missed the ball, oops! Pull out your 3-wood and.... Struck by lightning 3-iron comes out, Better luck next time! Time to buy some new clubs Taking a practise swing, Get thrown off the course And good luck! Time to buy some new clubs While heckling your opponent, Mind where the divot lands! Pitch and run You got the yips.