Golf Ipsum

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Pull out your 3-wood and...

That's a big slice Start your backswing, take it slow. Taking a practise swing, Score a bogey Carrying your clubs Mind where the divot lands! Your ball hits the Captain, Tiger Woods Out of anger Reading the green, Phoenix Good break! Good rhythm Score an albatross Ostrich For getting banned from the course. Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Score a double bogey Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Struck by lightning Phil Mickelson Mind where the divot lands!

You skied it! A gentle fade You deserve a mulligan. Walking over the putting green. Top your tee shot, Good rhythm A controlled draw Making a lot of noise And swing. And your caddie gets cross. To buy a drink for Thinking your at Sunningdale.

Jack Nicklaus At the Clubhouse, Aiming for the groundsman Tee off Short irons Weak grip That's a floater. A controlled draw Win the Green Jacket A controlled draw Weak grip At Augusta National Run down the fairway shouting Score a bogey 3-iron comes out, Good rhythm Time to buy some new clubs Good rhythm Pull out your 3-wood and.... Walking over the putting green. You deserve a mulligan. Get a new Sand Iron Begin the back nine holes, Begin the front nine holes, And shank it. Get thrown off the course Score a par Good break! And getting annoyed.

Pulled to the left Swear at the Captain and get banned. Using your putter to plumb-bob, Niblick Tom Watson Fluffy lie Short irons Gary Player For getting banned from the course. Walking over the putting green. That's a big hook Begin the front nine holes.

Splash shot And swing. Score a bogey A controlled draw That's a gimme. Arnold Palmer Good break! And getting annoyed Fried egg Making a lot of noise Fluffy lie Thinking your at Sunningdale Dancing on the practise ground. Out of anger Open clubface Pitch and run Spoon That's a big hook Struck by lightning.