Golf Ipsum
At St. Andrews
Hole in One! Tiger Woods Out of anger Time to buy some new clubs Ostrich Out of frustration Mashie Chip and run Run down the fairway shouting You skied it! Score a par Start your backswing, take it slow. That's a gimme. Splash shot Score a double bogey That's a big hook You deserve a mulligan. Mashie Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Out of anger You deserve a mulligan. Gary Player Cleek You need more lessons! That's a big hook Looking for a new angle of attack Hit it as hard as you can.
Visit the golf range, While drinking beer Dancing on the practise ground. At the Clubhouse, Start your backswing, take it slow. You deserve a mulligan. Texas Wedge Score an eagle Score a bogey Pulled to the left.
To distract your opponent Get a new Sand Iron Roll around on the ground laughing, Brassie Pulled to the left And snap your club in half. Reading the green, Score an albatross And swing.
And lose your mind, Chip and run And shank it. Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Begin the front nine holes, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Mind where the divot lands! That's a big slice Score a double bogey Oops, your ball is in the bunker. You got the yips Spoon Lose your putter, forced to go home. Pulled to the left Carrying your clubs Using your putter to plumb-bob, Chip in Hole in One!
Open stance While heckling your opponent, Carrying your clubs Phoenix While heckling your opponent, Open clubface Using your putter to plumb-bob, Dancing on the practise ground. Cheating on the next hole And swing. At Augusta National Struck by lightning Top your tee shot, Jack Nicklaus Begin the back nine holes, Spoon Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Weak grip Using your putter to plumb-bob, Better luck next time! Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Oops, your ball is in the bunker. For getting banned from the course. Win the Green Jacket Take a mulligan, Score a par.