Golf Ipsum

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Tom Watson

You need more lessons! Dancing on the practise ground. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Open clubface Time to buy some new clubs Short irons Score an eagle Act your age and not like a pro. Ben Hogan.

Pulled to the left Get your 5 wood Ben Hogan To distract your opponent Phil Mickelson Swing quickly, Jack Nicklaus Jigger While heckling your opponent.

Hole in One! Get a new Sand Iron Steady footwork Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Better luck next time! Get a new Sand Iron You got the yips Cheating on the next hole Tearing up a scorecard Run down the fairway shouting You skied it! Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Aiming for the groundsman Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Short irons Duck hook! That's a big slice Out of anger Completely missed the ball, oops! Out of anger While heckling your opponent, Get a new Sand Iron Pitch and run Act your age and not like a pro. And snap your club in half. Score a double bogey Completely missed the ball, oops! Texas Wedge At the Clubhouse.

And swing. Score a bogey Jack Nicklaus At the Clubhouse, You deserve a mulligan. Niblick Swear at the Captain and get banned. Begin the front nine holes, Oops, your ball is in the bunker. To buy a drink for.

For getting banned from the course. Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Looking for a new angle of attack Swing quickly, A scratch golfer, And shank it. Win the Green Jacket Jigger Splash shot Ben Hogan Chip in Weak grip Condor Duck hook! At St. Andrews, To buy a drink for Brassie Win the Green Jacket Ben Hogan Good break! Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Score a par Your ball hits the Captain, Arnold Palmer Duck hook!