Golf Ipsum
Good rhythm
Short irons Begin the front nine holes, Losing your ball in the rough, Arnold Palmer Score an albatross Score a birdie Texas Wedge Cheating on the next hole Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Ben Hogan Spoon Start your backswing, take it slow. A gentle fade A scratch golfer, Aiming for the groundsman Open stance To distract your opponent And your caddie gets cross. Tearing up a scorecard Taking a practise swing, Mind where the divot lands!
Score an albatross Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Score a birdie And good luck! Score a double bogey And lose your mind, For getting banned from the course. Begin the back nine holes, "Get in the hole!" Time to buy some new clubs Short irons Chip in Time to buy some new clubs Shouting Fore as loud as you can. That's a floater. A gentle fade Chip in Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Weak grip Pull out the driver and....
Cheating on the next hole Good break! Get your 5 wood Using your putter to plumb-bob, Get thrown off the course 3-iron comes out, Chip in That's a floater. Spoon Use your Lob Wedge "Get in the hole!" Dancing on the practise ground. Take a mulligan, Score a birdie Tearing up a scorecard Waggle your hips and swing That's a floater. Tee off A scratch golfer.
You got the yips Struck by lightning Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Tiger Woods Dancing on the practise ground. A gentle fade Score a birdie For packing in golf Lose your putter, forced to go home. At Augusta National And getting annoyed Fried egg Walking over the putting green. A gentle fade And snap your club in half. Mashie And good luck! And getting annoyed Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Get your 5 wood Arnold Palmer Mashie Roll around on the ground laughing, At Augusta National.
For packing in golf A controlled draw Get thrown off the course Open stance Run down the fairway shouting And good luck! Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Niblick Lose your putter, forced to go home. "Get in the hole!" Act your age and not like a pro. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. You deserve a mulligan.