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Golf Ipsum

A scratch golfer

Phil Mickelson A scratch golfer, To distract your opponent While heckling your opponent, Pull out your 3-wood and.... Duck hook! 3-iron comes out, Get a new Sand Iron Score an eagle Brassie.

Pitch and run Your ball hits the Captain, Pitching Wedge Waggle your hips and swing Fluffy lie Mashie Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, To distract your opponent Ben Hogan You need more lessons! Ben Hogan Struck by lightning For packing in golf While heckling your opponent, You got the yips To distract your opponent You got the yips Reading the green, Ben Hogan Good rhythm Pretend nothing just happened and smile. You skied it! Duck hook! Score an eagle.

Ben Hogan A gentle fade Hole in One! Duck hook! And shank it. Score a birdie To distract your opponent Mashie And good luck!

Cheating on the next hole And snap your club in half. Swear at the Captain and get banned. Swear at the Captain and get banned. Chip and run And your caddie gets cross. Carrying your clubs Fluffy lie Get thrown off the course That's a big hook You skied it! Hit it as hard as you can Gary Player Dancing on the practise ground. You need more lessons! At Augusta National Use your Lob Wedge Good break! While heckling your opponent, And lose your mind, Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste.

Score an eagle Pushed to the right Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Begin the back nine holes, Steady footwork Ben Hogan That's a gimme. Mashie Phoenix Score a double bogey And shank it. Pull out your 3-wood and.... Your ball hits the Captain, Fluffy lie To distract your opponent.

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