Golf Ipsum

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Act your age and not like a pro

Cleek That's a big slice Using your putter to plumb-bob, And good luck! That's a gimme. Phoenix The 19th Hole. Duck hook! Feeling happy now, Get thrown off the course Making a lot of noise Pushed to the right A gentle fade Swing quickly, Hit it as hard as you can Mind where the divot lands! Chip and run Making a lot of noise Score a double bogey Your ball hits the Captain, Mashie Open clubface Score a par.

Splash shot Cheating on the next hole Fried egg Tom Watson Score a double bogey Out of frustration Arnold Palmer And good luck! Pitching Wedge Time to buy some new clubs To distract your opponent For getting banned from the course. While heckling your opponent, Lose your putter, forced to go home. Swing quickly, For getting banned from the course. Mind where the divot lands! Score an albatross Fluffy lie You got the yips Run down the fairway shouting Use your Lob Wedge Open clubface You skied it! Get thrown off the course Losing your ball in the rough, Looking for a new angle of attack Cleek.

Pitch and run Looking for a new angle of attack Good break! Score a birdie Mashie Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, For packing in golf Pull out the driver and.... Ostrich Pull out your 3-wood and.... Reading the green, Spoon Time to buy some new clubs Splash shot Making a lot of noise Pitching Wedge Swing quickly, Lose your putter, forced to go home. Jigger Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker.

Walking over the putting green. Feeling happy now, Completely missed the ball, oops! You deserve a mulligan. Pitch and run Score a double bogey Making a lot of noise Out of anger Carrying your clubs Begin the back nine holes, Texas Wedge Run down the fairway shouting Score an albatross Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Swear at the Captain and get banned. Hole in One! And your caddie gets cross.

Score a double bogey The 19th Hole. At Augusta National Using your putter to plumb-bob, Begin the back nine holes, Thinking your at Sunningdale While heckling your opponent, A gentle fade That's a big hook To buy a drink for Score a double bogey Tom Watson Carrying your clubs Dancing on the practise ground. Pitch and run.