Golf Ipsum

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Arnold Palmer

Struck by lightning Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Dancing on the practise ground. That's a floater. And lose your mind, Pull out your 3-wood and.... Condor Start your backswing, take it slow. Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Weak grip Dancing on the practise ground.

Good break! For getting banned from the course. Aiming for the groundsman For packing in golf To buy a drink for Gary Player Cleek "Get in the hole!" Struck by lightning Cheating on the next hole Look out a ball is coming straight for you! That's a big hook At St. Andrews.

Jigger Score a double bogey Condor Out of anger Splash shot Get a new Sand Iron Good rhythm Pull out your 3-wood and.... Waggle your hips and swing Top your tee shot, You skied it! And swing. Good rhythm Good rhythm Completely missed the ball, oops! Tom Watson Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Niblick Use your Lob Wedge Hole in One! Oops, your ball is in the bunker. And lose your mind, You deserve a mulligan. Visit the golf range, At the Clubhouse.

Using your putter to plumb-bob, To distract your opponent Pretend nothing just happened and smile. And snap your club in half. At Augusta National The 19th Hole. Gary Player Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Open stance Hit it as hard as you can Get your 5 wood While drinking beer Pitching Wedge Carrying your clubs.

Plugged lie in the bunker Hole in One! Chip in That's a floater. Walking over the putting green. Lose your putter, forced to go home. That's a gimme. Score a double bogey Taking a practise swing, Phil Mickelson You need more lessons! Splash shot And good luck! At the Clubhouse, Open stance Completely missed the ball, oops! Arnold Palmer Better luck next time! Short irons Open clubface The 19th Hole. Making a lot of noise Roll around on the ground laughing.