Golf Ipsum

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Ostrich

Get a new Sand Iron Niblick Score a par Tearing up a scorecard Arnold Palmer That's a floater. Struck by lightning And your caddie gets cross. Struck by lightning 3-iron comes out, Weak grip Score a double bogey Hole in One! Fried egg Splash shot To distract your opponent Using your putter to plumb-bob, Look out a ball is coming straight for you! You skied it!

Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Cleek And your caddie gets cross. Swear at the Captain and get banned. Pull out the driver and.... Take a mulligan, At the Clubhouse.

Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, At Augusta National Hole in One! Looking for a new angle of attack Pull out the driver and.... Open stance Fried egg Tom Watson Feeling happy now, That's a floater.

Pitching Wedge That's a big hook Get thrown off the course Top your tee shot, Fried egg Pushed to the right.

Long irons A scratch golfer, Completely missed the ball, oops! Shouting Fore as loud as you can. You need more lessons! Using your putter to plumb-bob, While drinking beer Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Tiger Woods Steady footwork Your ball hits the Captain, Start your backswing, take it slow. Brassie Walking over the putting green. Dancing on the practise ground. You skied it! Pull out the driver and.... Better luck next time! And lose your mind, To buy a drink for Pitch and run Out of frustration Pitching Wedge Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Open stance Open stance Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Oops, your ball is in the bunker.