Golf Ipsum

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Time to buy some new clubs

You got the yips Top your tee shot, Pitching Wedge Score a bogey Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Jack Nicklaus Gary Player Start your backswing, take it slow. Begin the front nine holes.

While heckling your opponent, Tee off For packing in golf Score a par Out of frustration.

Better luck next time! Pretend nothing just happened and smile. A gentle fade While heckling your opponent, Good rhythm Mind where the divot lands! That's a big hook You got the yips 3-iron comes out, Begin the back nine holes, Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Jigger Shouting Fore as loud as you can. You skied it! Pitching Wedge Brassie Jigger "Get in the hole!".

Tee off A controlled draw Good break! Time to buy some new clubs Mind where the divot lands! Ben Hogan Looking for a new angle of attack Score a par 3-iron comes out, Fluffy lie Using your putter to plumb-bob, Score a bogey Tearing up a scorecard And lose your mind, That's a floater. Lose your putter, forced to go home. Short irons Tom Watson And getting annoyed Act your age and not like a pro. Rub of the green Score an eagle Weak grip Begin the front nine holes, Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Start your backswing, take it slow. Visit the golf range, Arnold Palmer.

That's a floater. 3-iron comes out, To buy a drink for Weak grip Out of anger For packing in golf Tearing up a scorecard Mashie Carrying your clubs Score a double bogey Gary Player Weak grip While drinking beer For packing in golf Pitching Wedge Feeling happy now, Dancing on the practise ground. Using your putter to plumb-bob, At the Clubhouse, And snap your club in half. Completely missed the ball, oops! And shank it. Steady footwork Long irons Weak grip.