Golf Ipsum

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Taking a practise swing

Begin the front nine holes, Looking for a new angle of attack That's a big hook Get thrown off the course While drinking beer Cheating on the next hole You need more lessons! Tearing up a scorecard Phil Mickelson Pull out the driver and.... Out of frustration Using your putter to plumb-bob, Feeling happy now, Using your putter to plumb-bob, Brassie.

Texas Wedge For packing in golf Pulled to the left Score a double bogey At Augusta National Splash shot Losing your ball in the rough, Begin the back nine holes, Pull out your 3-wood and.... Fried egg Good rhythm Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, You got the yips Get a new Sand Iron.

Reading the green, Pitching Wedge And snap your club in half. Run down the fairway shouting Gary Player Your ball hits the Captain, Begin the front nine holes, Texas Wedge Phoenix And your caddie gets cross. A scratch golfer, Long irons Struck by lightning Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Pulled to the left Gary Player Waggle your hips and swing Use your Lob Wedge Begin the back nine holes, At Augusta National Aiming for the groundsman Condor That's a gimme. Start your backswing, take it slow. Take a mulligan, Visit the golf range.

To buy a drink for Take a mulligan, Walking over the putting green. A scratch golfer, Phoenix Your ball hits the Captain, That's a big slice Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Spoon Steady footwork Jigger At Augusta National At the Clubhouse, Score a par Visit the golf range, Fried egg Score a bogey Take a mulligan, Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Get your 5 wood And lose your mind, Score a double bogey Carrying your clubs.

Chip in Score a double bogey Completely missed the ball, oops! Gary Player Cheating on the next hole Texas Wedge Condor Pushed to the right Tiger Woods Begin the front nine holes, Long irons.