Golf Ipsum

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Swear at the Captain and get banned

Ostrich Your ball hits the Captain, Ostrich Run down the fairway shouting Score a bogey Lose your putter, forced to go home. Fluffy lie Jigger Get thrown off the course Score an albatross.

While heckling your opponent, Tee off And getting annoyed Score an albatross Completely missed the ball, oops! Splash shot Out of anger Good break! Dancing on the practise ground. That's a big hook For packing in golf Run down the fairway shouting Tiger Woods And lose your mind, Your ball hits the Captain, Out of anger Phil Mickelson Fried egg At St. Andrews.

Waggle your hips and swing Time to buy some new clubs Tom Watson Jigger Score a birdie Niblick Short irons Pitch and run Your ball hits the Captain, That's a floater. Swing quickly, Cheating on the next hole Plugged lie in the bunker Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Begin the front nine holes, Begin the back nine holes, Act your age and not like a pro. Pitch and run Thinking your at Sunningdale Score a bogey Carrying your clubs Tiger Woods Thinking your at Sunningdale Score a birdie Begin the back nine holes, Texas Wedge Mind where the divot lands! Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker.

Pull out the driver and.... Chip and run Score a par Completely missed the ball, oops! And your caddie gets cross. Gary Player Phil Mickelson Act your age and not like a pro. At the Clubhouse, Fried egg Weak grip.

Brassie Pitching Wedge Swear at the Captain and get banned. Hole in One! Tiger Woods And shank it. "Get in the hole!" While drinking beer Better luck next time! For getting banned from the course. Steady footwork Reading the green, Score a par Score a double bogey Roll around on the ground laughing, Spoon Duck hook! And snap your club in half. Completely missed the ball, oops! You need more lessons!