Golf Ipsum

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Phil Mickelson

Phoenix That's a floater. Ostrich Hit it as hard as you can Pull out the driver and.... Waggle your hips and swing.

Rub of the green And getting annoyed Condor To buy a drink for Fried egg Pull out your 3-wood and....

Waggle your hips and swing Shouting Fore as loud as you can. And snap your club in half. Short irons Begin the front nine holes, Open clubface Taking a practise swing, Swing quickly, You need more lessons!

Swear at the Captain and get banned. Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Score a par Dancing on the practise ground. Win the Green Jacket Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Pitching Wedge Score a bogey Lose your putter, forced to go home. Phil Mickelson Jigger And shank it. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. That's a gimme. Duck hook! And lose your mind, Get your 5 wood You deserve a mulligan. You need more lessons! Score a double bogey Using your putter to plumb-bob, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Ostrich Chip in To buy a drink for Pushed to the right.

Tiger Woods Chip and run Feeling happy now, Top your tee shot, Losing your ball in the rough, Out of anger Act your age and not like a pro. That's a gimme. Get thrown off the course At St. Andrews, That's a floater. Open stance Ben Hogan Start your backswing, take it slow. Tee off And swing. And getting annoyed Dancing on the practise ground. And swing. Ostrich.