Golf Ipsum

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Thinking your at Sunningdale

At St. Andrews, Score a bogey Open clubface That's a floater. Run down the fairway shouting.

Thinking your at Sunningdale Get a new Sand Iron Phoenix Swear at the Captain and get banned. Ben Hogan Use your Lob Wedge Hole in One! Swing quickly, Your ball hits the Captain, While drinking beer Time to buy some new clubs Niblick While heckling your opponent, 3-iron comes out, Swear at the Captain and get banned. Visit the golf range.

Phoenix Swing quickly, Splash shot Looking for a new angle of attack That's a floater. Walking over the putting green. Mashie Weak grip Pitch and run Losing your ball in the rough, Short irons Score a bogey Swing quickly, Weak grip Good rhythm Dancing on the practise ground. Get your 5 wood Completely missed the ball, oops!

Jigger Long irons You deserve a mulligan. Ben Hogan Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Mashie And good luck! Hit it as hard as you can Mind where the divot lands! And lose your mind, Hit it as hard as you can And your caddie gets cross. Rub of the green Duck hook! Begin the back nine holes, Tee off A scratch golfer, Score a bogey Arnold Palmer Swing quickly, Use your Lob Wedge Act your age and not like a pro. Pretend nothing just happened and smile.

Condor Ostrich Run down the fairway shouting Waggle your hips and swing Carrying your clubs To distract your opponent Cleek Pull out your 3-wood and.... While heckling your opponent, Lose your putter, forced to go home. Tiger Woods Good rhythm Mashie Visit the golf range.