Golf Ipsum

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Lose your putter, forced to go home

Tiger Woods Begin the back nine holes, Chip in Begin the front nine holes, 3-iron comes out, That's a big hook A gentle fade Dancing on the practise ground. Pulled to the left Swear at the Captain and get banned. Ben Hogan Ostrich Score an albatross Begin the back nine holes, Good rhythm And getting annoyed That's a big slice While heckling your opponent, Weak grip Waggle your hips and swing Tearing up a scorecard Spoon And your caddie gets cross. At St. Andrews, At the Clubhouse.

Niblick You need more lessons! Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, That's a big hook You deserve a mulligan. Cleek Act your age and not like a pro. Brassie Use your Lob Wedge Ostrich Steady footwork Brassie At St. Andrews, That's a floater. At the Clubhouse, Mashie And swing. Begin the front nine holes, For getting banned from the course. Out of anger Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Hit it as hard as you can.

That's a big hook Mashie Score an eagle Score a bogey That's a big hook.

Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Get thrown off the course Take a mulligan, Waggle your hips and swing Start your backswing, take it slow. Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, While heckling your opponent, Plugged lie in the bunker.

Long irons Carrying your clubs Chip in That's a gimme. While drinking beer You deserve a mulligan. Get thrown off the course Mashie Top your tee shot, Hole in One! Phil Mickelson Pull out the driver and.... Oops, your ball is in the bunker.