Golf Ipsum

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Phil Mickelson

Pulled to the left Duck hook! Get thrown off the course Long irons Get a new Sand Iron That's a big hook At St. Andrews, Weak grip Score a birdie A gentle fade Ostrich That's a floater. The 19th Hole. Roll around on the ground laughing, And good luck! Phoenix And good luck! You need more lessons! Score an albatross 3-iron comes out, That's a big hook Score a double bogey Use your Lob Wedge That's a big slice.

Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Roll around on the ground laughing, Good rhythm Thinking your at Sunningdale Tom Watson Walking over the putting green. Long irons Chip and run Brassie Visit the golf range, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Score a par Win the Green Jacket Score a bogey Get a new Sand Iron Look out a ball is coming straight for you! And swing.

Score an eagle Plugged lie in the bunker Spoon Fluffy lie At Augusta National "Get in the hole!" Fluffy lie Hit it as hard as you can Out of frustration Fluffy lie Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Tiger Woods Out of frustration Score a birdie A controlled draw Plugged lie in the bunker Begin the front nine holes, And snap your club in half. Duck hook! To distract your opponent Score a double bogey And swing. At St. Andrews, Score a bogey Swing quickly, Your ball hits the Captain, Walking over the putting green. And shank it. Steady footwork.

To distract your opponent Reading the green, Pitching Wedge Score a bogey Losing your ball in the rough, A scratch golfer, Thinking your at Sunningdale That's a big slice While heckling your opponent, Looking for a new angle of attack Jack Nicklaus Cleek And shank it. The 19th Hole. At St. Andrews, Long irons Begin the front nine holes.

Tearing up a scorecard Start your backswing, take it slow. "Get in the hole!" Pitch and run Visit the golf range, For getting banned from the course. Good break! And getting annoyed Cheating on the next hole Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Fried egg That's a gimme. And your caddie gets cross. Completely missed the ball, oops! Walking over the putting green.