Golf Ipsum
Your ball hits the Captain
A gentle fade Swear at the Captain and get banned. Out of anger Your ball hits the Captain, Spoon You skied it!
Top your tee shot, Score a double bogey Gary Player Long irons Completely missed the ball, oops!
Hit it as hard as you can Run down the fairway shouting Begin the back nine holes, A controlled draw Get a new Sand Iron At the Clubhouse, Duck hook! Start your backswing, take it slow. Tearing up a scorecard You need more lessons! Struck by lightning.
Tom Watson "Get in the hole!" Out of frustration Making a lot of noise Get your 5 wood Phil Mickelson Swing quickly, And good luck! And shank it. Out of frustration While drinking beer Hole in One! Ostrich Tearing up a scorecard Mashie And your caddie gets cross. That's a big hook Dancing on the practise ground. Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Brassie Rub of the green Score a double bogey Lose your putter, forced to go home. Splash shot You need more lessons! Jigger Run down the fairway shouting.
Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Start your backswing, take it slow. The 19th Hole. Lose your putter, forced to go home. Begin the front nine holes.