Golf Ipsum

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Act your age and not like a pro

You deserve a mulligan. Pulled to the left Out of anger And swing. Out of anger That's a big hook Roll around on the ground laughing, Get thrown off the course Top your tee shot, Tearing up a scorecard Reading the green, Pitching Wedge Pitch and run Tee off Get your 5 wood.

Fried egg Start your backswing, take it slow. The 19th Hole. Run down the fairway shouting Shouting Fore as loud as you can. At St. Andrews, Losing your ball in the rough, Take a mulligan, Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Open clubface Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Aiming for the groundsman Long irons Making a lot of noise Tiger Woods Gary Player The 19th Hole. Get a new Sand Iron For packing in golf Niblick Condor.

Roll around on the ground laughing, Fried egg Tearing up a scorecard Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Open stance At St. Andrews, A gentle fade Weak grip Dancing on the practise ground. Struck by lightning You skied it!

Tee off Ostrich Tom Watson A scratch golfer, Take a mulligan, Jigger And lose your mind, Score a double bogey Aiming for the groundsman You need more lessons! Looking for a new angle of attack Pitch and run And your caddie gets cross. Get your 5 wood.

Your ball hits the Captain, At the Clubhouse, Chip and run Swear at the Captain and get banned. And good luck! That's a gimme. Niblick Swing quickly, Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Score a par Tee off Your ball hits the Captain, 3-iron comes out, Pull out the driver and.... Phil Mickelson And your caddie gets cross. While heckling your opponent, Texas Wedge Win the Green Jacket Steady footwork Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Plugged lie in the bunker Pushed to the right.