Golf Ipsum

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Better luck next time!

Start your backswing, take it slow. And shank it. "Get in the hole!" And good luck! Chip and run That's a floater. Steady footwork Tee off Chip and run Weak grip Gary Player Short irons That's a big hook While drinking beer.

Time to buy some new clubs Splash shot Open stance Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Steady footwork Long irons Gary Player Rub of the green Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Score a par Short irons Act your age and not like a pro. While drinking beer Your ball hits the Captain, Time to buy some new clubs Get a new Sand Iron.

Open stance Act your age and not like a pro. Looking for a new angle of attack And swing. Hole in One! You skied it! Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Act your age and not like a pro. Duck hook! You need more lessons! Thinking your at Sunningdale Tom Watson That's a big hook Texas Wedge Win the Green Jacket Out of frustration Cleek Good rhythm Condor Hit it as hard as you can Phoenix Tiger Woods Tiger Woods Mind where the divot lands! You skied it! Open stance Splash shot.

For getting banned from the course. Ostrich At the Clubhouse, Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Cleek Tearing up a scorecard Act your age and not like a pro. A controlled draw.

Time to buy some new clubs Open clubface And getting annoyed Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Tom Watson Losing your ball in the rough, Hit it as hard as you can Roll around on the ground laughing, Completely missed the ball, oops!