Golf Ipsum

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And snap your club in half

That's a big hook Short irons Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Brassie Dancing on the practise ground.

Pull out your 3-wood and.... Splash shot Lose your putter, forced to go home. And getting annoyed Reading the green, Open stance Completely missed the ball, oops! Cleek Texas Wedge Your ball hits the Captain, Gary Player Tee off A controlled draw Get a new Sand Iron.

Top your tee shot, Using your putter to plumb-bob, The 19th Hole. Thinking your at Sunningdale Waggle your hips and swing Score a birdie Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Tiger Woods Jigger Arnold Palmer And shank it. Act your age and not like a pro. Ben Hogan Mashie Time to buy some new clubs Begin the front nine holes, Thinking your at Sunningdale At St. Andrews, Phoenix Ostrich.

Carrying your clubs Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Chip in Take a mulligan, Tee off Making a lot of noise Condor Hit it as hard as you can A controlled draw Making a lot of noise.

Plugged lie in the bunker Jigger Making a lot of noise Begin the front nine holes, Start your backswing, take it slow. Get thrown off the course Score a par Score a birdie Mind where the divot lands! Plugged lie in the bunker A gentle fade Begin the front nine holes, Tiger Woods Short irons Open stance Visit the golf range, Fluffy lie.