Golf Ipsum

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While drinking beer

Pitching Wedge Using your putter to plumb-bob, Plugged lie in the bunker Looking for a new angle of attack Carrying your clubs While drinking beer Get your 5 wood You deserve a mulligan. Act your age and not like a pro. At Augusta National Pretend nothing just happened and smile.

Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Begin the front nine holes, Hit it as hard as you can Start your backswing, take it slow. Act your age and not like a pro. That's a big slice.

Ostrich Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Thinking your at Sunningdale A controlled draw Weak grip Use your Lob Wedge "Get in the hole!" Pretend nothing just happened and smile. A gentle fade Chip and run A controlled draw Score a par And shank it. Phoenix For packing in golf Carrying your clubs A controlled draw Score a double bogey Score an eagle Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Phoenix Score a par Your ball hits the Captain, Ostrich Score a double bogey.

Good rhythm Feeling happy now, Splash shot Completely missed the ball, oops! You skied it! While drinking beer Out of anger And shank it. Time to buy some new clubs For packing in golf Begin the front nine holes, You need more lessons! Score a double bogey Brassie And your caddie gets cross. Fluffy lie While heckling your opponent, Score a birdie Texas Wedge Hit it as hard as you can Waggle your hips and swing Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Better luck next time! Oops, your ball is in the bunker. While heckling your opponent, Get thrown off the course At St. Andrews.

3-iron comes out, Use your Lob Wedge Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, While drinking beer Roll around on the ground laughing, And getting annoyed That's a big slice For getting banned from the course. Condor Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Long irons You got the yips And lose your mind, Chip and run.