Golf Ipsum

Text: Paragraphs: Include title?

Pretend nothing just happened and smile

Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Score a birdie Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Duck hook! Swear at the Captain and get banned. Brassie Good break! Swear at the Captain and get banned. Gary Player At St. Andrews, Get your 5 wood Hole in One! Pushed to the right Out of anger Score a birdie Get thrown off the course Your ball hits the Captain, Phoenix Begin the front nine holes, 3-iron comes out, You deserve a mulligan. "Get in the hole!" Score a par Your ball hits the Captain, Swing quickly, Pushed to the right.

Get your 5 wood While drinking beer And your caddie gets cross. And good luck! Jack Nicklaus Oops, your ball is in the bunker. While drinking beer You need more lessons! Aiming for the groundsman Time to buy some new clubs Taking a practise swing, Making a lot of noise Top your tee shot, Splash shot Ben Hogan A controlled draw Hole in One! Waggle your hips and swing Swing quickly, Arnold Palmer You need more lessons! Rub of the green Cheating on the next hole.

Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Carrying your clubs Tiger Woods Get a new Sand Iron Swing quickly, Begin the front nine holes, Reading the green, Losing your ball in the rough, That's a floater. Score a double bogey Start your backswing, take it slow. Use your Lob Wedge To distract your opponent.

Score an eagle Visit the golf range, Dancing on the practise ground. Pitching Wedge A controlled draw Chip and run That's a floater. And lose your mind, That's a big slice Score a birdie And snap your club in half. Get a new Sand Iron That's a gimme. Tearing up a scorecard Roll around on the ground laughing, Pushed to the right Chip in Short irons Chip in.

Arnold Palmer Fried egg That's a floater. The 19th Hole. Hit it as hard as you can Lose your putter, forced to go home. At the Clubhouse, Chip and run Losing your ball in the rough, Open clubface "Get in the hole!" Hit it as hard as you can Looking for a new angle of attack Tee off Open stance Out of frustration Gary Player Swing quickly, Hole in One! At the Clubhouse, Pull out the driver and.... And getting annoyed.