Golf Ipsum

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Reading the green

Plugged lie in the bunker For getting banned from the course. To distract your opponent Pull out the driver and.... Steady footwork Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Taking a practise swing, Weak grip Pull out the driver and.... You deserve a mulligan. Out of anger That's a gimme. Get a new Sand Iron Score a birdie Jack Nicklaus Niblick Pretend nothing just happened and smile.

Hole in One! A controlled draw And getting annoyed Spoon That's a big slice Score a double bogey Long irons And getting annoyed That's a gimme. Swear at the Captain and get banned. Use your Lob Wedge Jack Nicklaus Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Dancing on the practise ground. And good luck! Cheating on the next hole And swing. Texas Wedge Pull out the driver and.... Texas Wedge Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste.

Carrying your clubs Get your 5 wood Taking a practise swing, Pull out your 3-wood and.... Swear at the Captain and get banned. Gary Player 3-iron comes out, Looking for a new angle of attack Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Weak grip.

Short irons Begin the back nine holes, The 19th Hole. Mashie Making a lot of noise Tom Watson Spoon Run down the fairway shouting Tee off Time to buy some new clubs Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Waggle your hips and swing At the Clubhouse, Pulled to the left Feeling happy now, Start your backswing, take it slow. Get thrown off the course Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste.

Pitching Wedge Making a lot of noise Chip in Duck hook! Ostrich For getting banned from the course. Cleek You deserve a mulligan. Cheating on the next hole Tom Watson Brassie That's a big hook And swing. Brassie That's a big hook Score an albatross Losing your ball in the rough, Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker.