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Golf Ipsum

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Pushed to the right

Brassie Score a birdie Pull out the driver and.... To buy a drink for Niblick Ben Hogan At Augusta National To distract your opponent Plugged lie in the bunker While drinking beer A scratch golfer, The 19th Hole. Take a mulligan.

Chip and run Score an albatross Cleek Ben Hogan A controlled draw Take a mulligan, Using your putter to plumb-bob, Feeling happy now, Visit the golf range, And getting annoyed Begin the front nine holes, Act your age and not like a pro.

At St. Andrews, A scratch golfer, Brassie Splash shot And shank it. Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker.

At St. Andrews, Arnold Palmer You got the yips Jack Nicklaus That's a big slice Pull out the driver and.... While heckling your opponent, Open clubface To buy a drink for Fried egg Score a birdie Gary Player And snap your club in half. Brassie Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Run down the fairway shouting Pushed to the right.

Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Time to buy some new clubs Score a birdie While heckling your opponent, A controlled draw Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Losing your ball in the rough, Jigger Lose your putter, forced to go home. Visit the golf range, Plugged lie in the bunker Open stance Ostrich Steady footwork Score a bogey You got the yips Losing your ball in the rough, Spoon Jack Nicklaus Using your putter to plumb-bob, Better luck next time! Score an albatross Phoenix That's a big hook Tearing up a scorecard Good rhythm Act your age and not like a pro.