Golf Ipsum

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Tom Watson

Brassie Take a mulligan, While drinking beer Splash shot Chip in Open stance Ben Hogan Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Get your 5 wood Ostrich Act your age and not like a pro. Mashie Tearing up a scorecard Looking for a new angle of attack Splash shot Thinking your at Sunningdale Time to buy some new clubs Long irons Completely missed the ball, oops! At St. Andrews, Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Visit the golf range, Feeling happy now.

While heckling your opponent, Use your Lob Wedge Tee off Your ball hits the Captain, Score a bogey Spoon Arnold Palmer Condor A controlled draw A gentle fade.

Start your backswing, take it slow. Gary Player Losing your ball in the rough, Top your tee shot, Win the Green Jacket Losing your ball in the rough, Get thrown off the course And shank it. Tom Watson Good break! Jack Nicklaus Completely missed the ball, oops! Looking for a new angle of attack Start your backswing, take it slow. Open clubface Your ball hits the Captain, And getting annoyed Waggle your hips and swing That's a floater. For getting banned from the course. Hit it as hard as you can While drinking beer Score an eagle.

Carrying your clubs Open stance Steady footwork At the Clubhouse, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Act your age and not like a pro. Phil Mickelson Begin the back nine holes.

Walking over the putting green. Swing quickly, Pushed to the right A scratch golfer, Win the Green Jacket Condor For getting banned from the course. Losing your ball in the rough.