Golf Ipsum

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While heckling your opponent

Open stance A gentle fade Fried egg Reading the green, Steady footwork Score an albatross Score an eagle Chip and run And your caddie gets cross. Hole in One! Top your tee shot, Plugged lie in the bunker Score a birdie That's a gimme. Tiger Woods Tearing up a scorecard Duck hook! Losing your ball in the rough, Short irons Waggle your hips and swing Tearing up a scorecard You skied it!

Score an albatross Rub of the green Taking a practise swing, Pulled to the left Pull out your 3-wood and....

While heckling your opponent, That's a floater. Taking a practise swing, Chip and run Begin the back nine holes, Pulled to the left Pushed to the right Roll around on the ground laughing, Score an albatross Swing quickly, The 19th Hole. Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Gary Player Tee off Score an eagle That's a floater. Looking for a new angle of attack Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Begin the back nine holes, Score a double bogey Top your tee shot, Swing quickly, Out of anger Carrying your clubs Mashie Time to buy some new clubs Looking for a new angle of attack Run down the fairway shouting For getting banned from the course.

Gary Player Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Losing your ball in the rough, Win the Green Jacket While drinking beer Carrying your clubs Pitching Wedge At St. Andrews, Get a new Sand Iron Open stance You skied it! Waggle your hips and swing Duck hook! Pull out your 3-wood and.... Jack Nicklaus Pushed to the right You got the yips.

To buy a drink for Short irons That's a big slice Score an eagle Good break! Mind where the divot lands! Niblick Swing quickly, Tee off Taking a practise swing, Dancing on the practise ground. Get thrown off the course Get a new Sand Iron Get your 5 wood Get thrown off the course Score an eagle.