Golf Ipsum

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Act your age and not like a pro

Pretend nothing just happened and smile. And good luck! To buy a drink for Ostrich Splash shot Time to buy some new clubs Taking a practise swing, And lose your mind, Cheating on the next hole Cheating on the next hole Chip in A controlled draw Chip and run Lose your putter, forced to go home. That's a big slice While drinking beer While drinking beer Begin the back nine holes, Reading the green, Cleek Open stance.

Walking over the putting green. Tom Watson Steady footwork Score a par Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Pulled to the left Get a new Sand Iron Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Steady footwork Start your backswing, take it slow. And shank it. Pitch and run Waggle your hips and swing While heckling your opponent, Open clubface Chip and run Looking for a new angle of attack You got the yips "Get in the hole!" Dancing on the practise ground. Chip in And snap your club in half. Time to buy some new clubs Ben Hogan You got the yips.

Rub of the green Tee off Use your Lob Wedge Completely missed the ball, oops! Begin the back nine holes.

Time to buy some new clubs A controlled draw While heckling your opponent, And getting annoyed Thinking your at Sunningdale Looking for a new angle of attack Aiming for the groundsman At Augusta National Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Open stance That's a big slice Better luck next time! And shank it. Niblick Pull out your 3-wood and.... Use your Lob Wedge Walking over the putting green. The 19th Hole. Feeling happy now, Steady footwork Phoenix Pull out your 3-wood and.... Pull out the driver and.... Short irons Chip and run Plugged lie in the bunker Fluffy lie Short irons Niblick.

Fluffy lie Pulled to the left Niblick Get a new Sand Iron Chip and run Use your Lob Wedge 3-iron comes out, Reading the green, Score a par You got the yips A controlled draw Duck hook!