Golf Ipsum

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Gary Player

Reading the green, "Get in the hole!" Phoenix Gary Player Score a bogey Mind where the divot lands! And your caddie gets cross.

You need more lessons! Pushed to the right Ostrich Phil Mickelson Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Looking for a new angle of attack For packing in golf Score a double bogey While heckling your opponent, That's a floater. Take a mulligan, Phil Mickelson A gentle fade Pitch and run Out of anger Score a par Good break! Roll around on the ground laughing, Jigger.

Walking over the putting green. Use your Lob Wedge While heckling your opponent, A controlled draw Time to buy some new clubs Brassie Mind where the divot lands! Get a new Sand Iron Short irons The 19th Hole. Top your tee shot, Jigger.

Roll around on the ground laughing, Tom Watson Get your 5 wood Duck hook! And snap your club in half. Time to buy some new clubs Jigger Chip in And your caddie gets cross. Roll around on the ground laughing, While heckling your opponent, Long irons Carrying your clubs Out of frustration And lose your mind, You skied it! Tiger Woods That's a floater. Act your age and not like a pro.

Tee off Short irons And lose your mind, For getting banned from the course. Pulled to the left To distract your opponent Pitching Wedge That's a big slice Act your age and not like a pro. Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Tiger Woods Fried egg Run down the fairway shouting Pull out the driver and....