Golf Ipsum

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Begin the back nine holes

Niblick And swing. Tom Watson Fried egg Act your age and not like a pro. Take a mulligan, Top your tee shot, Visit the golf range, Out of anger Struck by lightning Aiming for the groundsman Gary Player Mashie Dancing on the practise ground. Condor Tee off Better luck next time! Begin the front nine holes, Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Completely missed the ball, oops!

Run down the fairway shouting That's a floater. A scratch golfer, Pushed to the right Better luck next time! Reading the green, Score a bogey To distract your opponent Get a new Sand Iron That's a big hook Get a new Sand Iron Score a birdie Out of anger Cheating on the next hole Pull out your 3-wood and.... Chip and run Gary Player Cleek While heckling your opponent, Phil Mickelson The 19th Hole. Using your putter to plumb-bob, You need more lessons! Take a mulligan, Phoenix And good luck! You skied it! Texas Wedge.

At Augusta National Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Struck by lightning You deserve a mulligan. That's a floater. Splash shot Shouting Fore as loud as you can. That's a floater. Rub of the green That's a gimme. Carrying your clubs Phil Mickelson Short irons Pull out the driver and.... Time to buy some new clubs Rub of the green Score a birdie Lose your putter, forced to go home. Visit the golf range, For packing in golf That's a gimme. And shank it. Fried egg Open clubface That's a floater. Begin the front nine holes.

Visit the golf range, Time to buy some new clubs That's a big hook Good break! Short irons Texas Wedge A controlled draw Rub of the green Reading the green, Mind where the divot lands! Ostrich Mind where the divot lands! Score an eagle Reading the green, Score an albatross Time to buy some new clubs Shouting Fore as loud as you can. You got the yips A scratch golfer.

Pull out your 3-wood and.... Begin the front nine holes, And shank it. Pitch and run Jigger The 19th Hole. Get your 5 wood Arnold Palmer Cleek Rub of the green Tom Watson Spoon Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker.