Golf Ipsum

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Aiming for the groundsman

Fried egg Tom Watson A scratch golfer, You skied it! Begin the front nine holes, Duck hook! Hit it as hard as you can Use your Lob Wedge That's a big hook At St. Andrews, Hit it as hard as you can Visit the golf range, Use your Lob Wedge Splash shot A scratch golfer.

Score an albatross Niblick Good break! Tearing up a scorecard You need more lessons!

Taking a practise swing, Texas Wedge Using your putter to plumb-bob, For packing in golf Win the Green Jacket Cheating on the next hole Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. A scratch golfer, Pushed to the right And lose your mind, Niblick Tee off Mind where the divot lands! Score a par Win the Green Jacket Pitch and run Duck hook! Start your backswing, take it slow. Good rhythm Mind where the divot lands!

Phil Mickelson Open stance Waggle your hips and swing Ostrich A gentle fade Duck hook! Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Lose your putter, forced to go home. Score a par Chip in Phil Mickelson Phil Mickelson For packing in golf Splash shot Short irons For packing in golf.

Tiger Woods And shank it. Looking for a new angle of attack That's a floater. While heckling your opponent, Get your 5 wood And snap your club in half. Tiger Woods You need more lessons!