Golf Ipsum

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Jigger

Pull out the driver and.... That's a floater. The 19th Hole. Tom Watson Get thrown off the course You got the yips And good luck! And lose your mind, To distract your opponent.

Score a birdie A controlled draw Gary Player Score a birdie The 19th Hole. Open stance Ostrich Texas Wedge And getting annoyed To buy a drink for That's a gimme. A scratch golfer, You skied it! Looking for a new angle of attack Taking a practise swing, Plugged lie in the bunker You skied it! Short irons Struck by lightning Pulled to the left.

At Augusta National Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Mind where the divot lands! Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Take a mulligan, Duck hook! Score a birdie Tee off Dancing on the practise ground. Good break! Tee off Feeling happy now, Long irons That's a big hook Top your tee shot, Looking for a new angle of attack Take a mulligan, Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Open clubface.

Texas Wedge Struck by lightning And your caddie gets cross. While drinking beer And shank it. Reading the green, Act your age and not like a pro. Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Begin the front nine holes, You skied it! Swing quickly, Chip in And good luck! Short irons Oops, your ball is in the bunker.

Pulled to the left And lose your mind, Hole in One! Pulled to the left Fluffy lie Good rhythm Looking for a new angle of attack Plugged lie in the bunker A scratch golfer, Phil Mickelson Tee off Steady footwork Texas Wedge Score an albatross You deserve a mulligan. Completely missed the ball, oops! And good luck! At the Clubhouse, Splash shot Score a double bogey Score a double bogey Dancing on the practise ground. Pull out the driver and.... Begin the front nine holes, Pull out the driver and.... Out of anger Aiming for the groundsman At Augusta National And good luck!