Golf Ipsum

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Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker

Pitching Wedge Out of frustration Losing your ball in the rough, Aiming for the groundsman Mashie Niblick Better luck next time! Aiming for the groundsman Oops, your ball is in the bunker. And snap your club in half. Long irons That's a floater. Short irons Begin the back nine holes, Duck hook! Your ball hits the Captain, Open stance.

Out of frustration Struck by lightning At St. Andrews, Get a new Sand Iron Roll around on the ground laughing, Ben Hogan That's a big hook And shank it.

Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, You deserve a mulligan. Open stance The 19th Hole. That's a gimme. 3-iron comes out, And your caddie gets cross. Using your putter to plumb-bob, Score a bogey Get a new Sand Iron That's a big slice Waggle your hips and swing And lose your mind, Jack Nicklaus.

Get a new Sand Iron Better luck next time! Spoon Tee off Score an eagle Pitching Wedge Long irons Reading the green, 3-iron comes out, To buy a drink for Swing quickly, While drinking beer Carrying your clubs 3-iron comes out.

Act your age and not like a pro. Plugged lie in the bunker Spoon Mashie Phoenix Take a mulligan, Mashie Phoenix Oops, your ball is in the bunker. A controlled draw Looking for a new angle of attack Losing your ball in the rough, Taking a practise swing, Tom Watson You deserve a mulligan. Pull out the driver and.... While drinking beer Cleek Visit the golf range, Out of anger.