Golf Ipsum

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Rub of the green

Tiger Woods A scratch golfer, Score a birdie Steady footwork Walking over the putting green. Texas Wedge Mashie Jigger Swear at the Captain and get banned. Cleek Losing your ball in the rough, At Augusta National "Get in the hole!" Long irons To buy a drink for A gentle fade Score a double bogey The 19th Hole. Get a new Sand Iron While drinking beer Condor At Augusta National Gary Player Completely missed the ball, oops! Pitch and run Run down the fairway shouting.

Tiger Woods Gary Player Chip in Rub of the green Chip and run Brassie Hole in One! For getting banned from the course. While heckling your opponent, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Score an albatross Pushed to the right Use your Lob Wedge Swing quickly, Pulled to the left Start your backswing, take it slow.

Run down the fairway shouting Waggle your hips and swing Top your tee shot, Arnold Palmer Tiger Woods Carrying your clubs Ostrich Struck by lightning Get your 5 wood Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Score a double bogey Fried egg Get thrown off the course Brassie Tee off Long irons.

Reading the green, Niblick 3-iron comes out, Taking a practise swing, Tiger Woods That's a gimme. Open clubface And lose your mind, Score a double bogey Gary Player At Augusta National Phil Mickelson That's a floater.

The 19th Hole. While heckling your opponent, Get thrown off the course Thinking your at Sunningdale Tiger Woods That's a gimme. Cheating on the next hole Pitch and run And your caddie gets cross. Out of frustration The 19th Hole. Ben Hogan Win the Green Jacket While drinking beer Begin the back nine holes, Tiger Woods At the Clubhouse, You skied it! Tiger Woods Jigger Tiger Woods Your ball hits the Captain, Ostrich.