Golf Ipsum

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Aiming for the groundsman

Phil Mickelson Visit the golf range, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. That's a gimme. And swing. Score an albatross Weak grip And good luck! Hole in One! Taking a practise swing, Reading the green, Niblick Niblick Steady footwork That's a floater. Score a par Thinking your at Sunningdale Niblick Tearing up a scorecard Pull out the driver and.... Open clubface Plugged lie in the bunker Score a bogey Taking a practise swing.

Splash shot Completely missed the ball, oops! Arnold Palmer Brassie Plugged lie in the bunker Cheating on the next hole.

A controlled draw Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Take a mulligan, Reading the green, Spoon Long irons That's a gimme. Swing quickly, Begin the back nine holes, Jack Nicklaus Begin the front nine holes, Out of anger.

Tearing up a scorecard Hole in One! Cheating on the next hole And your caddie gets cross. Chip and run And your caddie gets cross. A controlled draw 3-iron comes out, And getting annoyed Tiger Woods Arnold Palmer.

Score a bogey Phil Mickelson A controlled draw Cleek Gary Player Look out a ball is coming straight for you! To distract your opponent Condor A controlled draw Get your 5 wood "Get in the hole!" At the Clubhouse, Your ball hits the Captain, For packing in golf Get your 5 wood You got the yips Spoon And shank it. Open stance Splash shot For getting banned from the course. Take a mulligan.