Golf Ipsum

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Score an albatross

Splash shot Jack Nicklaus Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Rub of the green Niblick Fried egg Score a double bogey Fluffy lie Tearing up a scorecard Jigger To distract your opponent Ben Hogan Visit the golf range, And good luck! That's a big slice That's a gimme. Walking over the putting green. Struck by lightning To distract your opponent Pitching Wedge Score an eagle Pitch and run Reading the green, Making a lot of noise Fried egg Score an albatross.

You skied it! Hole in One! Score a par Tom Watson Phoenix Pull out your 3-wood and.... The 19th Hole. Roll around on the ground laughing, And snap your club in half. At the Clubhouse, Pull out your 3-wood and.... And shank it. Cheating on the next hole Swing quickly, Hit it as hard as you can And your caddie gets cross. Open clubface That's a gimme.

Taking a practise swing, The 19th Hole. That's a gimme. Tearing up a scorecard Better luck next time! And swing. Tom Watson Losing your ball in the rough, Taking a practise swing, Arnold Palmer Score a double bogey Look out a ball is coming straight for you! While heckling your opponent, Tee off Get thrown off the course And your caddie gets cross. Start your backswing, take it slow. Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, And good luck! At Augusta National Pull out the driver and.... Get thrown off the course You deserve a mulligan. Get your 5 wood At St. Andrews, Roll around on the ground laughing, Dancing on the practise ground. While drinking beer Weak grip.

And your caddie gets cross. Time to buy some new clubs Score an albatross Weak grip Get your 5 wood Cheating on the next hole Time to buy some new clubs Lose your putter, forced to go home. Out of frustration Cleek Tee off Thinking your at Sunningdale.

Begin the back nine holes, Pulled to the left Pull out your 3-wood and.... Pretend nothing just happened and smile. While drinking beer Get your 5 wood Tee off Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker.