Golf Ipsum

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And snap your club in half

Making a lot of noise To distract your opponent Fluffy lie Jack Nicklaus Chip in You got the yips Carrying your clubs Tom Watson Thinking your at Sunningdale Walking over the putting green. Jack Nicklaus Tearing up a scorecard Gary Player Gary Player To distract your opponent Chip and run Good rhythm Aiming for the groundsman Jack Nicklaus.

To buy a drink for Tiger Woods Reading the green, That's a big slice Score a double bogey That's a gimme. Begin the front nine holes, "Get in the hole!" Score a birdie That's a big hook Weak grip Looking for a new angle of attack Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Ben Hogan Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, At St. Andrews, Short irons Thinking your at Sunningdale Making a lot of noise Texas Wedge Lose your putter, forced to go home. Gary Player Tiger Woods Long irons Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Pitching Wedge Get a new Sand Iron.

Walking over the putting green. For packing in golf Time to buy some new clubs Condor Cheating on the next hole A controlled draw You deserve a mulligan. Lose your putter, forced to go home. At the Clubhouse, Score a birdie For packing in golf And lose your mind, Roll around on the ground laughing, Fried egg Brassie Condor Looking for a new angle of attack Carrying your clubs Good rhythm Score an albatross.

Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Looking for a new angle of attack Splash shot Roll around on the ground laughing, Aiming for the groundsman To distract your opponent Rub of the green Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Rub of the green Splash shot You skied it! Pitch and run Pulled to the left Dancing on the practise ground. Tee off.

That's a floater. Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Pushed to the right Phil Mickelson A gentle fade Jigger Swing quickly, Take a mulligan, Ben Hogan Top your tee shot, "Get in the hole!" Get your 5 wood Rub of the green Your ball hits the Captain, "Get in the hole!" Ostrich Lose your putter, forced to go home. Gary Player Shouting Fore as loud as you can. That's a big slice Thinking your at Sunningdale.