Golf Ipsum

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Score a bogey

Jack Nicklaus Brassie Good rhythm Out of frustration Run down the fairway shouting Carrying your clubs Pull out the driver and.... Jigger Phoenix Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Score a par "Get in the hole!" Carrying your clubs Fluffy lie That's a floater. Pull out your 3-wood and.... Fried egg Ostrich Start your backswing, take it slow. That's a big hook Get your 5 wood Tiger Woods Score an albatross And lose your mind, Arnold Palmer At the Clubhouse, Steady footwork.

Short irons Pitching Wedge A controlled draw Get a new Sand Iron Phil Mickelson And good luck! Better luck next time! And snap your club in half. Mashie And your caddie gets cross. Gary Player Better luck next time! That's a big hook Visit the golf range, Out of anger Aiming for the groundsman 3-iron comes out.

Pushed to the right Score an eagle Chip in Score a bogey Score a par Chip and run Using your putter to plumb-bob, Dancing on the practise ground. Score a bogey Rub of the green Using your putter to plumb-bob, You need more lessons! Steady footwork Gary Player.

Thinking your at Sunningdale You need more lessons! Run down the fairway shouting Gary Player To buy a drink for Walking over the putting green. Reading the green, Taking a practise swing, Visit the golf range, Jigger Hole in One! Visit the golf range.

Score an eagle And good luck! You got the yips 3-iron comes out, While heckling your opponent, Thinking your at Sunningdale Get your 5 wood You got the yips Losing your ball in the rough, Duck hook! Walking over the putting green. At the Clubhouse, Run down the fairway shouting Long irons And lose your mind, Arnold Palmer Oops, your ball is in the bunker. That's a floater. Waggle your hips and swing Out of anger Swear at the Captain and get banned. Duck hook! Run down the fairway shouting "Get in the hole!" Your ball hits the Captain, Waggle your hips and swing.