Golf Ipsum

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Tiger Woods

Use your Lob Wedge Your ball hits the Captain, That's a gimme. Struck by lightning Get thrown off the course "Get in the hole!" Jigger Texas Wedge And lose your mind, Chip in Dancing on the practise ground. Thinking your at Sunningdale Tearing up a scorecard Spoon Texas Wedge Oops, your ball is in the bunker. You need more lessons! Get your 5 wood For getting banned from the course. And swing. Tearing up a scorecard Open stance Time to buy some new clubs Score a double bogey Gary Player A controlled draw "Get in the hole!" You got the yips That's a floater.

You skied it! Using your putter to plumb-bob, And shank it. Start your backswing, take it slow. You skied it! Use your Lob Wedge And good luck! Niblick Dancing on the practise ground. Ostrich Waggle your hips and swing While heckling your opponent, And lose your mind, And shank it. Pitch and run Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Lose your putter, forced to go home. Chip and run Brassie.

Spoon That's a big slice For packing in golf Swing quickly, While drinking beer Looking for a new angle of attack Jigger Open stance Pushed to the right 3-iron comes out, "Get in the hole!" Feeling happy now, Cheating on the next hole Pitch and run.

And good luck! And good luck! Time to buy some new clubs You need more lessons! Out of frustration Begin the front nine holes, 3-iron comes out, At St. Andrews, A controlled draw Mind where the divot lands! 3-iron comes out, You deserve a mulligan. Chip and run Pitching Wedge Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Score a bogey Brassie Mind where the divot lands! Brassie Out of anger You skied it! Cheating on the next hole Act your age and not like a pro. You skied it! A scratch golfer, Begin the front nine holes, To distract your opponent.

You skied it! Ben Hogan Using your putter to plumb-bob, Cheating on the next hole That's a big hook Mashie Pitching Wedge Texas Wedge You need more lessons! You got the yips Pitching Wedge Taking a practise swing, Chip in And shank it. Score a bogey Completely missed the ball, oops! Making a lot of noise.