Golf Ipsum

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Completely missed the ball, oops!

At the Clubhouse, You deserve a mulligan. Score a par Look out a ball is coming straight for you! At the Clubhouse, Good break! Start your backswing, take it slow. Losing your ball in the rough, Phoenix Tom Watson Act your age and not like a pro. Spoon Plugged lie in the bunker At St. Andrews, For getting banned from the course. Swing quickly, Jigger Score an albatross.

Long irons You deserve a mulligan. Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, And snap your club in half. Tee off "Get in the hole!" A scratch golfer, Pull out the driver and.... And shank it. Phoenix Swear at the Captain and get banned.

Score a birdie Get a new Sand Iron A gentle fade That's a gimme. Carrying your clubs "Get in the hole!" Gary Player Get a new Sand Iron Ben Hogan Fried egg A scratch golfer, Tom Watson Lose your putter, forced to go home. That's a gimme. Run down the fairway shouting And good luck! Dancing on the practise ground. And your caddie gets cross. You need more lessons! Chip and run Tom Watson Jigger.

Jack Nicklaus Pretend nothing just happened and smile. A scratch golfer, Weak grip Win the Green Jacket Begin the front nine holes, Condor Phil Mickelson Lose your putter, forced to go home. Start your backswing, take it slow. Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Lose your putter, forced to go home. Visit the golf range, And shank it. Ostrich.

Looking for a new angle of attack Jigger You need more lessons! Time to buy some new clubs Rub of the green You need more lessons! You got the yips Your ball hits the Captain, Tom Watson Pulled to the left "Get in the hole!" And getting annoyed Waggle your hips and swing While drinking beer Carrying your clubs You skied it! Open stance And swing. Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Pushed to the right Pulled to the left And getting annoyed Jack Nicklaus Short irons Completely missed the ball, oops! Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker.