Golf Ipsum

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For getting banned from the course

You need more lessons! That's a big slice Get your 5 wood Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, And getting annoyed Jigger Losing your ball in the rough.

Oops, your ball is in the bunker. And lose your mind, A scratch golfer, Top your tee shot, Chip and run To buy a drink for You need more lessons! Mind where the divot lands! Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Jack Nicklaus Losing your ball in the rough, Out of frustration Condor Open clubface Jack Nicklaus Making a lot of noise And lose your mind, Struck by lightning Swear at the Captain and get banned. Get a new Sand Iron Take a mulligan, Begin the back nine holes, Long irons And swing. Tearing up a scorecard Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Score a par Gary Player Reading the green.

Open clubface Mind where the divot lands! Mind where the divot lands! "Get in the hole!" Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Time to buy some new clubs A controlled draw Making a lot of noise Top your tee shot, Brassie.

Niblick A controlled draw Good break! Chip in Completely missed the ball, oops! Good break! Get a new Sand Iron Cheating on the next hole That's a gimme. Ben Hogan Ostrich That's a big hook Score an albatross Ben Hogan Plugged lie in the bunker Rub of the green Visit the golf range, And good luck! Hole in One! That's a gimme. Tearing up a scorecard Hole in One! Score an albatross Steady footwork Swing quickly, Begin the front nine holes, Long irons Long irons.

Score an eagle To buy a drink for Act your age and not like a pro. Taking a practise swing, Splash shot Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Walking over the putting green. While heckling your opponent, Score a birdie Ostrich Completely missed the ball, oops! Run down the fairway shouting Completely missed the ball, oops!