Golf Ipsum

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Score a birdie

To distract your opponent Phoenix A controlled draw To buy a drink for Score a double bogey At St. Andrews, Phoenix For getting banned from the course. Mashie That's a gimme. Chip and run Short irons Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Mashie Rub of the green Ostrich Phoenix Visit the golf range, Mind where the divot lands! Carrying your clubs Aiming for the groundsman Get thrown off the course Swear at the Captain and get banned.

At Augusta National You got the yips At St. Andrews, Tee off Tee off Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, While drinking beer Score an albatross Tiger Woods Chip in "Get in the hole!" That's a floater. Steady footwork A controlled draw You need more lessons! "Get in the hole!" Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Swear at the Captain and get banned. Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Dancing on the practise ground. You got the yips You got the yips Open stance You need more lessons! Tee off.

Swear at the Captain and get banned. While heckling your opponent, Visit the golf range, Waggle your hips and swing Win the Green Jacket Plugged lie in the bunker And lose your mind, That's a big slice Score a par Rub of the green That's a floater. Pitching Wedge Tee off Brassie You need more lessons! Swing quickly, "Get in the hole!" Good rhythm Score a double bogey Swing quickly, Weak grip Looking for a new angle of attack.

Taking a practise swing, Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Phil Mickelson And shank it. Cheating on the next hole Brassie Rub of the green Short irons Looking for a new angle of attack Splash shot.

Waggle your hips and swing Phil Mickelson "Get in the hole!" Mind where the divot lands! And good luck! Begin the front nine holes, Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Visit the golf range, Score a par Weak grip And your caddie gets cross. While drinking beer Hole in One! Score a bogey That's a big hook Mind where the divot lands!