Golf Ipsum

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Dancing on the practise ground

Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Gary Player Pitching Wedge That's a big hook Waggle your hips and swing Dancing on the practise ground. And swing. You need more lessons! Score an albatross You got the yips Fluffy lie Score a par Tee off.

You deserve a mulligan. Run down the fairway shouting To distract your opponent Chip and run Aiming for the groundsman And snap your club in half.

Swear at the Captain and get banned. While heckling your opponent, Dancing on the practise ground. Tiger Woods Looking for a new angle of attack Using your putter to plumb-bob, Pushed to the right.

To distract your opponent Fried egg Roll around on the ground laughing, Waggle your hips and swing Arnold Palmer You need more lessons! Open stance Score a birdie Losing your ball in the rough, Ben Hogan Fried egg Short irons Fluffy lie "Get in the hole!" And lose your mind, Niblick Take a mulligan, You skied it! Plugged lie in the bunker.

Looking for a new angle of attack Weak grip Pretend nothing just happened and smile. That's a big hook Open clubface.