Golf Ipsum

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And your caddie gets cross

Out of frustration Gary Player To buy a drink for Score a double bogey A gentle fade Act your age and not like a pro. And your caddie gets cross. A scratch golfer, Splash shot Pretend nothing just happened and smile. And shank it. Plugged lie in the bunker Aiming for the groundsman Top your tee shot, Texas Wedge Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Swing quickly, And snap your club in half. And shank it. Ostrich Spoon Ostrich Arnold Palmer For packing in golf A controlled draw Open clubface Steady footwork Feeling happy now, Gary Player.

Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Visit the golf range, Win the Green Jacket Cleek Long irons Ostrich Texas Wedge Good break! Pitching Wedge Get thrown off the course Fluffy lie Jack Nicklaus And shank it. Swear at the Captain and get banned.

Tee off That's a big slice A scratch golfer, Thinking your at Sunningdale Losing your ball in the rough, Score an eagle Score a double bogey At Augusta National 3-iron comes out.

Phoenix Reading the green, Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Roll around on the ground laughing, Use your Lob Wedge Visit the golf range, Plugged lie in the bunker Lose your putter, forced to go home. Struck by lightning Score a bogey Score an albatross Duck hook! At the Clubhouse.

And lose your mind, Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Duck hook! Niblick Splash shot Out of frustration Short irons Looking for a new angle of attack Plugged lie in the bunker Niblick Weak grip Weak grip Weak grip Taking a practise swing, Cheating on the next hole Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Hit it as hard as you can That's a gimme. Jack Nicklaus Out of anger Pull out your 3-wood and....