Golf Ipsum

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And lose your mind

Pulled to the left Looking for a new angle of attack Pitch and run Use your Lob Wedge Pulled to the left Weak grip Lose your putter, forced to go home. And swing. Swing quickly, Using your putter to plumb-bob, Better luck next time! Weak grip Mashie That's a big slice Run down the fairway shouting Hit it as hard as you can.

Tee off Begin the front nine holes, Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Cheating on the next hole Top your tee shot, Time to buy some new clubs Thinking your at Sunningdale That's a floater. Tiger Woods Waggle your hips and swing Open clubface Weak grip To distract your opponent Gary Player Get thrown off the course Get a new Sand Iron Out of anger Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Tee off.

Begin the back nine holes, A gentle fade Looking for a new angle of attack Your ball hits the Captain, And shank it. Jigger Time to buy some new clubs Cleek Your ball hits the Captain, And your caddie gets cross. Score an albatross A scratch golfer, Niblick To distract your opponent And shank it. Ostrich The 19th Hole. Top your tee shot, For getting banned from the course. Long irons Act your age and not like a pro. Jack Nicklaus Score a double bogey.

Carrying your clubs Chip and run Cheating on the next hole You deserve a mulligan. Cheating on the next hole Cleek Weak grip Get thrown off the course Using your putter to plumb-bob, Mashie Mind where the divot lands! Aiming for the groundsman Struck by lightning Chip in At the Clubhouse, The 19th Hole. Use your Lob Wedge.

Get a new Sand Iron Steady footwork Good rhythm Long irons Arnold Palmer Plugged lie in the bunker Begin the front nine holes, Looking for a new angle of attack Struck by lightning Open stance While heckling your opponent, Fluffy lie Ben Hogan Top your tee shot.