Golf Ipsum

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At the Clubhouse

Tee off Tee off Cleek Short irons That's a big slice Score an eagle For getting banned from the course. Mashie Get your 5 wood For getting banned from the course. Mashie And swing. And shank it. Phil Mickelson You need more lessons! And getting annoyed Struck by lightning.

Arnold Palmer Mind where the divot lands! Take a mulligan, Jigger Score an eagle Get a new Sand Iron Open clubface Open stance Score a double bogey A controlled draw Your ball hits the Captain, Swear at the Captain and get banned. Lose your putter, forced to go home. Open stance.

Long irons Condor To buy a drink for Open clubface Niblick And getting annoyed Get your 5 wood.

Pull out the driver and.... Fried egg For packing in golf For getting banned from the course. Reading the green, Carrying your clubs Tom Watson Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Aiming for the groundsman That's a big hook Mashie Jack Nicklaus And getting annoyed Pushed to the right Long irons You skied it! Texas Wedge And good luck! Open clubface Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Score a par Short irons Score an albatross.

At Augusta National Waggle your hips and swing Reading the green, Fluffy lie Roll around on the ground laughing, Phoenix Out of frustration Using your putter to plumb-bob, Tearing up a scorecard Chip and run Thinking your at Sunningdale Score a birdie.