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Golf Ipsum

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Score a birdie

Pushed to the right Phoenix Chip in Niblick Texas Wedge While heckling your opponent, Gary Player Tearing up a scorecard Feeling happy now, Roll around on the ground laughing, Pitch and run Completely missed the ball, oops! Gary Player Score an eagle At the Clubhouse, The 19th Hole.

A controlled draw Pitching Wedge Jigger Brassie Duck hook! And snap your club in half. Act your age and not like a pro. Splash shot And good luck! Tom Watson Looking for a new angle of attack And lose your mind, Brassie Top your tee shot, Ben Hogan Start your backswing, take it slow. Steady footwork Hit it as hard as you can Pull out your 3-wood and.... Hole in One! At St. Andrews, Good break! Out of frustration And good luck!

Texas Wedge Walking over the putting green. Tearing up a scorecard Begin the back nine holes, Out of anger Get thrown off the course Struck by lightning Feeling happy now, For getting banned from the course. Shouting Fore as loud as you can.

Pull out the driver and.... Act your age and not like a pro. Weak grip For getting banned from the course. Niblick Completely missed the ball, oops! Tiger Woods Good rhythm Pushed to the right Waggle your hips and swing And shank it. Jigger Lose your putter, forced to go home. Taking a practise swing, Score an eagle.

A gentle fade Begin the back nine holes, While drinking beer Dancing on the practise ground. Gary Player And your caddie gets cross. Lose your putter, forced to go home. You skied it! Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, A scratch golfer, Tearing up a scorecard Losing your ball in the rough, Begin the back nine holes, Act your age and not like a pro. That's a big slice.