Golf Ipsum

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Score a par

Using your putter to plumb-bob, Fluffy lie Get thrown off the course You deserve a mulligan. Fried egg Pitch and run Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, A scratch golfer, Open stance You got the yips You skied it! Shouting Fore as loud as you can. You got the yips Open clubface Carrying your clubs For packing in golf Run down the fairway shouting And your caddie gets cross. Score a par Jack Nicklaus Gary Player Tom Watson Swing quickly, Shouting Fore as loud as you can.

Begin the front nine holes, Begin the back nine holes, Fried egg Chip in That's a big slice Tee off Pitch and run Your ball hits the Captain, Looking for a new angle of attack Get your 5 wood Chip in And shank it. Ostrich And shank it.

Out of frustration While drinking beer Out of anger To buy a drink for Weak grip Visit the golf range, While heckling your opponent, Splash shot Jigger Splash shot Swear at the Captain and get banned.

And lose your mind, Cleek Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Score a birdie Struck by lightning Making a lot of noise Open stance You need more lessons! Lose your putter, forced to go home. Score a birdie Score a double bogey Out of frustration Steady footwork A scratch golfer, And snap your club in half. Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Chip in Swear at the Captain and get banned.

Short irons Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Rub of the green Long irons Act your age and not like a pro. Score a double bogey Looking for a new angle of attack Taking a practise swing, Pitch and run.