Golf Ipsum

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While heckling your opponent

Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Brassie Weak grip Niblick Completely missed the ball, oops! Score a bogey At the Clubhouse, Steady footwork And your caddie gets cross. Brassie Good rhythm Start your backswing, take it slow. You deserve a mulligan. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Walking over the putting green. Pushed to the right Ostrich Duck hook! Making a lot of noise Gary Player While heckling your opponent.

Mind where the divot lands! Niblick At Augusta National For packing in golf Pitch and run Open clubface Use your Lob Wedge Dancing on the practise ground. A gentle fade Better luck next time!

Duck hook! Arnold Palmer Tiger Woods Time to buy some new clubs Score a par And good luck! Pitch and run Texas Wedge That's a gimme. Mashie Completely missed the ball, oops! Tom Watson Ben Hogan Mind where the divot lands! You need more lessons! Struck by lightning Spoon Score an albatross A gentle fade You need more lessons! You got the yips Good rhythm Rub of the green.

Cleek And good luck! Swear at the Captain and get banned. And getting annoyed And getting annoyed Phil Mickelson Ostrich Score a double bogey Start your backswing, take it slow. Dancing on the practise ground. Out of frustration Begin the back nine holes, Gary Player And getting annoyed Spoon Out of frustration Steady footwork.

Better luck next time! Score a double bogey Duck hook! Roll around on the ground laughing, Out of frustration Splash shot Your ball hits the Captain, Steady footwork Tee off Score a birdie Begin the front nine holes, Score a double bogey Condor Steady footwork Dancing on the practise ground. Begin the back nine holes, A scratch golfer, Pull out the driver and.... Jigger Arnold Palmer Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Hole in One!