Golf Ipsum

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Cheating on the next hole

Act your age and not like a pro. At Augusta National At the Clubhouse, Roll around on the ground laughing, That's a big slice.

Condor Weak grip Lose your putter, forced to go home. Ben Hogan To buy a drink for Take a mulligan, Walking over the putting green. Open clubface Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, "Get in the hole!" Pushed to the right To distract your opponent A gentle fade Waggle your hips and swing And swing. Tee off Walking over the putting green. Score a birdie And getting annoyed Score a double bogey And getting annoyed At Augusta National.

Reading the green, And good luck! A gentle fade Out of anger Phil Mickelson Top your tee shot, Swear at the Captain and get banned. Score a par Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, That's a big hook Thinking your at Sunningdale Feeling happy now.

Win the Green Jacket Good break! Ben Hogan While heckling your opponent, Fluffy lie While drinking beer Pushed to the right Score an albatross Mashie Pitching Wedge 3-iron comes out, Pull out the driver and.... The 19th Hole. Out of frustration Get a new Sand Iron Brassie And shank it.

Fluffy lie Chip and run For packing in golf While heckling your opponent, To distract your opponent While heckling your opponent, 3-iron comes out, Chip in That's a floater. Jack Nicklaus Gary Player That's a big hook Making a lot of noise And getting annoyed You deserve a mulligan. Weak grip That's a floater. Score an eagle Chip and run Completely missed the ball, oops! Niblick Look out a ball is coming straight for you! To distract your opponent Dancing on the practise ground. And good luck! Hole in One! Run down the fairway shouting That's a floater.