Golf Ipsum

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Chip and run

Duck hook! A scratch golfer, Spoon Better luck next time! Brassie Waggle your hips and swing To distract your opponent.

Run down the fairway shouting Steady footwork Get a new Sand Iron Top your tee shot, The 19th Hole. While heckling your opponent, Good rhythm For getting banned from the course. Top your tee shot, While heckling your opponent, And swing. Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Tom Watson While drinking beer And lose your mind, Take a mulligan, Making a lot of noise Lose your putter, forced to go home.

Open clubface Begin the front nine holes, Mind where the divot lands! Steady footwork Pretend nothing just happened and smile. "Get in the hole!" A controlled draw Start your backswing, take it slow. To buy a drink for Open stance Fried egg Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Plugged lie in the bunker Tom Watson Dip your opponents grips in sticky paste, Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Swear at the Captain and get banned. And swing. Begin the back nine holes, Ostrich Plugged lie in the bunker.

That's a big slice Losing your ball in the rough, Tom Watson Get a new Sand Iron Score a birdie Mind where the divot lands! Taking a practise swing, Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Swing quickly, Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Aiming for the groundsman.

Begin the front nine holes, Act your age and not like a pro. For packing in golf Dancing on the practise ground. Hit it as hard as you can.