Golf Ipsum

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Begin the front nine holes

Top your tee shot, Out of frustration Better luck next time! Score a bogey While drinking beer.

Run down the fairway shouting While heckling your opponent, A gentle fade Open clubface Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Phoenix Using your putter to plumb-bob, Plugged lie in the bunker And swing. To distract your opponent Pushed to the right.

Tiger Woods Start your backswing, take it slow. You skied it! Fried egg At Augusta National You need more lessons! Waggle your hips and swing At Augusta National Begin the back nine holes, Pushed to the right Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Mashie Get a new Sand Iron And getting annoyed Score an albatross Taking a practise swing, Good break! You skied it! Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Start your backswing, take it slow. You skied it!

You deserve a mulligan. Take a mulligan, Good break! Looking for a new angle of attack Feeling happy now, Get your 5 wood Get your 5 wood Ostrich That's a gimme. And snap your club in half. Pulled to the left Time to buy some new clubs Thinking your at Sunningdale Score a double bogey Good break! Lose your putter, forced to go home. Completely missed the ball, oops!

Pulled to the left Time to buy some new clubs Tee off Pull out the driver and.... Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Visit the golf range, Start your backswing, take it slow. Ostrich Taking a practise swing, Roll around on the ground laughing, Score a bogey Tiger Woods Mashie To buy a drink for Phil Mickelson Score an albatross Duck hook! Walking over the putting green. And lose your mind, A scratch golfer, Thinking your at Sunningdale.