Golf Ipsum

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Waggle your hips and swing

Lose your putter, forced to go home. "Get in the hole!" Score a double bogey And snap your club in half. Your ball hits the Captain, Phoenix And your caddie gets cross. Pull out your 3-wood and.... Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Score an eagle Score an albatross Splash shot Tee off Open stance Open clubface.

Oops, your ball is in the bunker. And shank it. Phil Mickelson Use your Lob Wedge A scratch golfer, Pitching Wedge Pitch and run And snap your club in half. Score an eagle Top your tee shot, For packing in golf Score a bogey Time to buy some new clubs.

Open stance Long irons Run down the fairway shouting For packing in golf Arnold Palmer Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Win the Green Jacket To distract your opponent.

Looking for a new angle of attack Score a double bogey Tee off Rub of the green That's a big hook Get thrown off the course At the Clubhouse, You got the yips And swing. Open clubface For packing in golf Better luck next time! Swear at the Captain and get banned. Long irons Good break! Tiger Woods At the Clubhouse, A controlled draw Texas Wedge.

Phoenix And swing. Begin the back nine holes, That's a floater. For getting banned from the course. Carrying your clubs Phil Mickelson Mind where the divot lands! Walking over the putting green. Tom Watson Visit the golf range, Struck by lightning And your caddie gets cross. Jigger You got the yips Jigger Weak grip Pitching Wedge A gentle fade Tearing up a scorecard A scratch golfer, That's a big slice Oops, your ball is in the bunker.