Golf Ipsum

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Jack Nicklaus

You deserve a mulligan. Looking for a new angle of attack Open clubface To distract your opponent Pull out your 3-wood and.... Carrying your clubs Swear at the Captain and get banned. Swing quickly, Swing quickly, Lose your putter, forced to go home.

That's a floater. Begin the back nine holes, Pulled to the left Long irons Mind where the divot lands! Use your Lob Wedge Good break! Good rhythm Fried egg At the Clubhouse, Time to buy some new clubs Weak grip Pretend nothing just happened and smile. The 19th Hole. Roll around on the ground laughing, Taking a practise swing, And snap your club in half. Gary Player Hit it as hard as you can You need more lessons! Losing your ball in the rough, Start your backswing, take it slow.

Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Lose your putter, forced to go home. Hit it as hard as you can Score an eagle Take a mulligan, Score an eagle Walking over the putting green. Tiger Woods And good luck! Pitch and run Score a par At Augusta National At St. Andrews, Score a birdie And good luck! Cheating on the next hole Get a new Sand Iron You deserve a mulligan.

Get thrown off the course Use your Lob Wedge Good rhythm Niblick A scratch golfer, Completely missed the ball, oops! Score an albatross Score a double bogey To buy a drink for Dancing on the practise ground. Out of anger Tearing up a scorecard.

While heckling your opponent, Using your putter to plumb-bob, Arnold Palmer And getting annoyed Pull out the driver and.... That's a big slice Open stance Thinking your at Sunningdale Spoon At Augusta National While drinking beer Swear at the Captain and get banned. Open clubface Arnold Palmer Win the Green Jacket Lose your putter, forced to go home. Completely missed the ball, oops! A gentle fade Plugged lie in the bunker.