Golf Ipsum

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For getting banned from the course

At the Clubhouse, Score a par Swing quickly, Pull out your 3-wood and.... At Augusta National Using your putter to plumb-bob, Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker.

Taking a practise swing, Fluffy lie Tiger Woods That's a gimme. Taking a practise swing, Look out a ball is coming straight for you! Score a birdie Out of anger Long irons Long irons Making a lot of noise Tiger Woods Pull out your 3-wood and.... Swear at the Captain and get banned. Better luck next time! Score a bogey.

And your caddie gets cross. Phoenix Chip in Score a bogey Hit it as hard as you can A scratch golfer, Score a par Pushed to the right Get a new Sand Iron You got the yips Pull out the driver and.... That's a big slice Pull out your 3-wood and.... Weak grip.

For getting banned from the course. Phil Mickelson Score a double bogey Out of frustration And good luck! Your ball hits the Captain, Tee off Texas Wedge Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Fried egg Begin the front nine holes, Short irons Oops, your ball is in the bunker. Texas Wedge Completely missed the ball, oops! Tiger Woods And getting annoyed Short irons Get a new Sand Iron Chip and run For getting banned from the course. Brassie.

While heckling your opponent, Hit it as hard as you can Fried egg Rub of the green Score an eagle At St. Andrews, Phil Mickelson Better luck next time! Fluffy lie Pushed to the right "Get in the hole!" Splash shot.