Golf Ipsum
Out of frustration
A gentle fade Score a bogey Top your tee shot, And good luck! Long irons At St. Andrews, Top your tee shot, Visit the golf range, Good break! Weak grip Run down the fairway shouting Swear at the Captain and get banned. Tiger Woods Good rhythm Roll around on the ground laughing, Score an eagle Start your backswing, take it slow. That's a gimme. Short irons You got the yips To distract your opponent A controlled draw Feeling happy now, Open clubface While heckling your opponent, To distract your opponent That's a big slice Dancing on the practise ground. Win the Green Jacket.
Mashie For getting banned from the course. Niblick Struck by lightning That's a floater. And good luck! Brassie Open stance.
Carrying your clubs Get a new Sand Iron Time to buy some new clubs Phil Mickelson Lose your putter, forced to go home. Tee off That's a floater. Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Feeling happy now, Pitch and run Aiming for the groundsman Pitching Wedge Cheating on the next hole Phoenix Begin the back nine holes, Pull out the driver and.... For packing in golf Texas Wedge 3-iron comes out, Use your Lob Wedge Swing quickly, Look out a ball is coming straight for you! And snap your club in half. Ostrich Arnold Palmer.
To distract your opponent Out of frustration A scratch golfer, Chip in Out of anger Top your tee shot, That's a big hook And good luck! Weak grip Using your putter to plumb-bob, Score a birdie That's a big hook Dancing on the practise ground. Mind where the divot lands! Out of frustration Good break! To distract your opponent Open stance Cleek A gentle fade That's a big hook Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Score a birdie Act your age and not like a pro. Rub of the green.
At Augusta National Score an eagle While drinking beer Swing quickly, Chip and run "Get in the hole!" Losing your ball in the rough, Better luck next time! You skied it! Score a birdie Get thrown off the course A scratch golfer, Out of frustration Tom Watson Out of anger Score a double bogey To buy a drink for Get your 5 wood Condor Good break! While drinking beer Hit it as hard as you can Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Begin the back nine holes, Begin the front nine holes, Carrying your clubs Begin the back nine holes, Get thrown off the course Pretend nothing just happened and smile.