Golf Ipsum

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To distract your opponent

Gary Player Hit it as hard as you can Hit it as hard as you can 3-iron comes out, Use your Lob Wedge Tee off Start your backswing, take it slow. Steady footwork Carrying your clubs Dancing on the practise ground. Feeling happy now, Pitch and run Cheating on the next hole Mind where the divot lands! Ben Hogan And your caddie gets cross. Steady footwork Completely missed the ball, oops! Steady footwork Mashie Begin the back nine holes, Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Run down the fairway shouting Taking a practise swing, A gentle fade Act your age and not like a pro. And lose your mind.

Duck hook! Top your tee shot, Mashie That's a big slice You skied it!

And your caddie gets cross. Shouting Fore as loud as you can. Looking for a new angle of attack Visit the golf range, Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, At Augusta National At the Clubhouse.

Take a mulligan, Condor Jack Nicklaus Long irons "Get in the hole!" Pull out the driver and.... Jack Nicklaus The 19th Hole. Open clubface Pulled to the left Weak grip Jigger While heckling your opponent, Out of anger Spoon Splash shot Long irons Splash shot Phoenix Waggle your hips and swing Brassie Feeling happy now, Walking over the putting green. And good luck! Taking a practise swing, Cheating on the next hole Hit it as hard as you can.

Completely missed the ball, oops! To distract your opponent Phoenix To distract your opponent Hit it as hard as you can Top your tee shot, Brassie Get thrown off the course Pretend nothing just happened and smile. Arnold Palmer "Get in the hole!" Ostrich Scoring a golden ferret from the bunker, Spoon Short irons Rub of the green Chip and run To buy a drink for Good rhythm Time to buy some new clubs Open stance Short irons Aiming for the groundsman A controlled draw That's a gimme.